Daughter her best ally

Katie Goltz left her daughter with her ex-husband when she was deployed to Iraq in late 2005. The Newman Lake resident said Kaitlin, who turned 10 on Friday, who got her through that long year of war.

“I always kept a picture of my daughter with me,” said Goltz, 29. “And for the times I was pretty scared, I would take it out and look at it and say a prayer.”

Today is her first Mother’s Day since returning home. The Washington National Guard soldier returned on Veterans Day last November, and she works as a case manager at Family Support Services of Idaho in Coeur d’Alene, using her psychology degree from Gonzaga University to counsel adults and children who have been victims of abuse.

Goltz was stationed in Baghdad, where her unit served as prison guards. The accommodations were adequate, she said, but temperatures reached 140 degrees in August. For Christmas, she and fellow platoon members huddled around a fire in a trash barrel and sang carols.

“That is probably the Christmas I’ve enjoyed the most,” Goltz said. “The unity you felt among the people was really neat, and you really appreciate little things like the warmth of the fire.”

About once a week she checked in with her family at a communication center with phones, Internet access and Web cams. Emotionally, she said, it was difficult to call home much more than that. But Goltz sent her daughter letters and photos.

Kevin Goltz, who cared for Kaitlin full-time during the deployment, tried to ease the girl’s fears for her mother’s safety.

“I kept the exposure to a minimum,” he said, such as shielding her from news reports of the war.

The phone calls and mail also helped Kaitlin relax, Kevin Goltz said. “The communication between us in both e-mail and phone calls was always uplifting.”

Katie Goltz said she found comfort knowing that Kaitlin and Kevin were together and that her own parents were nearby. “He is a really good dad and it really put my mind at ease,” she said.

Kevin said his daughter is behaving like a typical kid again now that Katie is home. “A lot of her playfulness has come back,” he said.

Kaitlin said she found comfort in providing care packages to her mom. “Me and my grandma baked her brownies, and I wrote her letters telling her I missed her and asking her when she was going to be back,” she said.

Kaitlin’s friends also sent packages, with movies and music discs. Goltz said the gifts and cards, including those from people she didn’t know, made a real difference, and she always tried to express that in a thank-you note.

Upon her return, she spoke to Kaitlin’s third-grade class and was not surprised to learn that many students equated war with killing. She explained that war also meant helping people by providing food and improving their living conditions.

“Before I left I would watch the news and it made me very angry – at all of Iraq,” Goltz said. “But I met some really neat people from Iraq who have changed my life forever.”

She saw more of the country and its people when her unit traveled in convoys. She saw women and children working in fields while men stood in groups, visiting.

“A lot of the kids don’t go to school because they are trying to help make money for the family,” said Goltz, who views Iraqi women as victims of a male-dominated society.

She also saw death firsthand.

Insurgents often watch who befriends American soldiers and will kill their entire families, Goltz said.She recounted stories of rebuilding schools, only to see them blown up with children inside. “It’s almost as if we are setting them up to be killed.”

Goltz said she has mixed feelings about the war and is confused as to what role the United States should play. She also believes it’s too soon to bring the troops home. “I’m the kind of person who believes you finish what you start,” she said.

Goltz and her 154 comrades left for Iraq on Nov. 27, 2005, after intense military police training at Fort Lewis, Wash. They included about 35 women.

Watching news accounts of the war did not prepare her for the experience. “Not knowing what you will find when you get there is what kills you,” said Goltz, who holds the rank of corporal.

But one of the scariest moments came before she even left. A medical exam revealed cancerous cells on her cervix. She underwent surgery and insisted on traveling with her unit.

“I wanted to go because I owed it to my battle buddies,” said Goltz, who is cancer-free.

What she witnessed in Iraq did not fully affect her until she came home, she said.

“You have so much adrenaline that all you think about is making it through,” Goltz said. “Your body is not used to seeing the things you are seeing, so you do not know how you will react. Emotionally you feel numb.”

Prior to deployment, Goltz worked for the National Guard assisting soldiers preparing to go into active duty. But she found the return to civilian life stressful. She was unemployed and worried about her bills.

“I am happy I went over there, but in a sense you want to forget about it,” she said. “People, once they find out you served in Iraq, want to know all about it. You get to a point where you want to know what they did for the last year.”

Goltz’s boyfriend, Bob Allen, served alongside her in Baghdad. They knew each other before Iraq and grew closer during their year of service. They live together in Newman Lake.

But she still misses the others with whom she served.

“You crave wanting to see these people because you share a common bond,” Goltz said. “These are people who in civilian life you may not even be friends with because your interests are so diverse, yet you have to literally trust these people with your life.”

Goltz recently attended a weekend of drills with her unit, the 792nd Chemical Company, based in Yakima, and was sad to see only half of the members. Many have chosen active duty.

Whether she will be called back to Iraq remains to be seen. The break between National Guard deployments is 18 months, which means she could be called up again as early as Mother’s Day 2008.