Give da Grip a moniker

You just never know.

When dealing with the Internet, you just never know what will show up on any given day.

Such was the case Saturday, when on the bottom of atypically sarcastic Mariners post on SportsLink, a reader made my day.

And gave me a column.

A reader named Joey, who I don’t believe I’ve ever met, commented on a question about benching Disappointment-of-the-Year frontrunner Richie Sexson.

After agreeing that Sexson needed to be benched and giving his opinion on where in the lineup Sexson should appear when he returns, Joey went on to add:

“also … you deserve a cool moniker. there’s j-lo, a-rod, k-rod, t-mac, man-ram, yu-bet, etc. how’s this … vice-grip?? yea … yo’ but it’s better than ‘vin-grip’ (sounds like a golf club commercial) … and it accurately reflects your knowledge and passion of the sports world, especially locally. ‘he has an ever-increasing handle on the sports scene. each day his information and influence tightens the screws. he’s like a vice-grip.’ waddya think??”

Now I’ve had a lot of nicknames in my life – many of which could never appear in a family newspaper and barely make the cut for the Web – including, believe it or not, Vice-Grip (which probably needs one of those registered trademark dingbats). That one first appeared, I think, back in high school when I was a catcher. It was actually a sarcastic homage to my catching ability – think how stiff a Vice-Grip is and you get an idea of how soft my hands were.

But Vice-Grip wasn’t the only moniker that evolved from my last name. I went from Grippi to Guppy to Fish in the course of one summer, only to have that nickname disappear when a guy with the last name of Fish showed up in class that fall.

Then there was Gripe, of course, and other slang that played off my cheery personality.

But I’ve never had a cool nickname as a writer, unless you count profane pejoratives as nicknames. I’ve received many of those over the years from people like you, so I guess you can say the S-R’s readers have tagged me with a nickname or two. None of which, however, I would ever want my mother to hear.

So Joey’s suggestion hit a nerve. And germinated an idea.

What if SportsLink readers gave me a nickname? Something I could use as a third-person reference to myself. Instead of writing “I was listening in the car,” I could write “Vice-Grip was listening in the car.”

Now that sounds impressive.

But there might even be a more illustrative nickname (and no, the “Fat Guy” isn’t going to cut it, despite how honest to- the-point it may be) out there. And I know you can find it.

How? Click on to SportsLink and find the post set up for your suggestions. There is just one rule: The nickname has to pass the mom rule. If you wouldn’t want your mom to hear it, don’t post it.

And I have one other request.

Like George Constanza, I don’t want to be called Koko. I want to be T-Bone.