Immature relatives get thrills by mocking wise elders

My brother Ray has been yukking it up at my expense since he went to vote in the Coeur d’Alene city elections at the Nazarene Church on Tuesday. You need to know a coupla things about Ray before I proceed. First, he’s a little over nine years younger than I am, the baby of the family. In fact, I changed his diaper once when Dad refused to do so (which has nothing to do with this story but is worth mentioning). I’m going to be 58 in two weeks. He’s going to be 49 in January. Secondly, Ray enjoys a belly laugh and retelling stories at his siblings’ expense. Now, onward. A Seasoned Citizen precinct worker named Ed spotted my brother’s last name and asked: “Are you that reporter’s son?” Ray chuckled all the way to his voting booth. When he handed in his ballot, a female precinct worker noticed the name and asked: “Are you that reporter?” Without skipping a beat, another precinct worker interjected: “No, he’s that reporter’s son.” Finally, Ray set them all straight: “He’s my much older brother.” But that’s not the end of it. Later, Ray’s wife, Lisa, visited the polling place to vote. Noticing the name “Oliveria,” Ed began the drumbeat again: “If (Ray’s) his brother, that would make you his …” Another precinct worker filled in the blank: “Daughter.” So, I’m apparently going on 58 with two mid-fortysomething kids, including one who will bring this story up at every family gathering until I’m eating dirt. Mom shoulda eaten Ray when he was young and his bones were soft.

“Bumpersnicker (sightem by CDA Councilman Mike Kennedy in Boise on Tuesday): “My senator’s not gay but my governor is Butch.”

“Colleague Erica Curless deserves credit for the best one-liner after the Black Thursday layoffs: “The Spokesman-Review tombstone will read better than the Coeur d’Alene Press.”