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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Battle of the celeblogging all-stars, part deux

Frank Sennett Correspondent

Not only was last November’s inaugural Celeblog Invitational the most popular Blogspotter to date, the tourney to determine the top blogging celebrity also got me mocked by the gossips of Gawker.

With the Hollywood writers still on strike, someone has to deliver the next blockbuster sequel. Might as well be me, right?

Last year’s top prize — a two-for-one IHOP breakfast coupon — remains unclaimed by winner Rosie O’Donnell, who was too busy infuriating executives at two TV networks.

Although that great meal deal has expired, it’s still all I have to offer. Sorry, blogging celebs; I hope all the money in the world and the adulation of millions helps ease your pain.

Rules refresher: Bloggers’ fame must predate their sites, they should post regularly, and they can’t be famous primarily for writing books. Also, no repeat blogs from last year.

To the main event!

Opening Round

Mark Cuban’s Blog Maverick v. Donald Trump’s The Trump Blog: NBA owner Cuban mixes it up with the likes of Fox News blowhard Bill O’Reilly while Trump outsources most of his limp entries. Trump Blog: You’re fired!

Asia Carrera’s Asia’s Bulletins v. Jenna Jameson’s MySpace Blog: Between the former porn stars, Jameson’s blog is easier on the eyes. But Carrera will grip more readers with her account of coping with her husband’s death while eight months pregnant.

Alyssa Milano’s Touch ‘em All v. Curt Schilling’s 38 Pitches: Bloody BoSox man Schilling runs an outspoken site. (His reaction to the Yankees giving Alex Rodriguez $275 million: “Holy crap.”) But to watch actress Milano deliver National League dish? To quote her dad’s reaction when the Dodgers hired manager Joe Torre, “I am so excited… I am spitting.”

Katie Couric’s Couric & Co. v. Charles Gibson’s The World Newser v. Brian Williams’ The Daily Nightly: Chaz seldom appears on his unfortunately named blog (“Newser?”). Couric’s video Notebook segments demonstrate polish, but Williams wins with insouciant blog style: “We may also mention A-Rod. I’m sure he’d like that.”

Pamela Anderson’s Diary v. Borat Sagdiyev’s MySpace Blog: Fans of Kazakhstan’s greatest documentary filmmaker know Borat harbors an intense attraction toward the “Baywatch” babe. It’s easy to see why: They’re both unintentionally funny. Pam posted a picture of the Malibu fires alongside an entry that began, “Vegas is fun — my kids are becoming even better golfers.” But Borat edges her with his “Myspaces chit-chat” video posts: “I here to meet a pretty girlfriend. Please you send me your photograph and electronic letter, preference erotic. Why not? I like. Is nice.”

John Mayer’s Blog v. Dave Navarro’s 6767: Although it’s oddly entertaining to see rock bad boy Navarro still waxing eloquent about “The West Wing,” Mayer’s decision to feed America’s celeb obsession with photos of his meals is too delicious.

Ron Silver’s Silver Bullet v. Krist Novoselic’s Contention & Conscious: One of these new blogs by celebs-turned-political activists appears to be named after Bob Seger’s band (or a Coors Light can), while the other seems designed to make our heads hurt. Home-state nod to the Nirvana bassist over the intense actor who believes America is “uniquely capable” of helping spread democracy in Arab states. How’s that working out again?

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs v. The Secret Diary of Steve Ballmer. No home-state love for the fake Microsoft honcho. Phony Ballmer never responded to my e-mail, unlike Fake Steve Jobs — who recently took time out from not running Apple Inc. to give me a real interview. I still use Windows, though.

Big Winners

Cuban, Milano, Borat and Fake Steve Jobs razzle-dazzled their way into the Final Four, at which point the two sports bloggers dropped out to protest the tournament’s sheer bogusness. (Call me, Alyssa!)

That left Fake Steve to duke it out with the fake Kazakh documentarian in an epic battle that recalled Borat’s nude hotel bout with his cameraman, and not in a good way.

This year’s champ: Borat, by a hair.

In the phony world of celebrity, it’s only fitting. I’m just afraid he’ll actually show up to claim that expired breakfast coupon.