Group gathers for strength

Nadya Godun spent nearly five hours making 200 dessert pastries from scratch, two at a time on an electric griddle, for the Widow’s Might gathering Sept. 30.

“I want to thank them,” said Godun, a mother of five children, ages 2 to 14, whose husband died last October. “They helped me a lot.”

The delicate desserts with a sweet custardlike filling were a big hit, earning a round of applause from the hundred plus widows seated at autumn themed tables.

Widow’s Might, founded 10 years ago by Wes and Adrienne Teterud and Viola Eden, meets quarterly at Spokane Valley Nazarene Church, drawing an average of 130 widows to enjoy dinner, conversation, entertainment and an informative, relevant topic.

Topics cover practical issues widows face, such as cooking for one, avoiding identity fraud or living alone safely.

Last month’s topic was “The Widow and Her Finances” which followed a harmonious gospel performance by the Spokane Melody Singers and a restaurant-style meal of chicken Marsala, garden rice pilaf, ginger hazelnut carrots and raspberry lemon white chocolate torte along with Godun’s dessert.

Each meeting is on a Sunday afternoon from 1 to 3 p.m., said Teterud, because research shows Sunday afternoons, a time normally spent with family, are often the loneliest times for widows.

A former pastor and current insurance provider, Teterud studied widowhood as part of his doctorate of ministries degree. He wrote a book, “Caring for Widows,” based on those studies and created the Widow’s Might ministry to help meet a need he saw “to equip, educate and encourage widows to live alone again.”

Not affiliated with any denomination, Widow’s Might first met at Valley Fourth Memorial Church but later moved to the Valley Nazarene when it grew too large for the previous space.

Expenses are small with the Nazarene church donating use of its facilities, volunteers making the meal and serving the ladies, and a simple free will offering usually covering the cost of the meal.

It is not a bereavement group; Teterud stressed, but is aimed at giving widows the tools they need to live life fully as widows while having fun and supporting each other.

“The best person to help (a widow) adapt and cope is another widow,” Teterud said. “Women who have been through it saddle up next to a recent widow to know there is hope and life beyond marriage.”

Caroline Catling joined the group shortly after her husband died eight years ago.

“It helps to be with others going through the same thing,” she said. “You can’t isolate yourself.”

For Lynda Hutchins, who has also attended the group for eight years, the hardest part of widowhood was going home alone and learning to do things on her own.

Getting together with other widows has helped alleviate some of that loneliness and need.

This sentiment was echoed by widows throughout the room.

“It is a wonderful occasion, with good food and good friendship,” said Darlene Faitin, who was there for the first time. “I plan on coming every three months.”

To help new widows and widows with financial needs, the group also has a widow’s fund, financed by donations.

“If I hear of a widow who just lost her husband I’ll write a thousand-dollar check,” says Teterud. “Even if she has life insurance or Social Security, it takes a month or two for those to come in. This is a bridge until they get resources.”

Over the past seven years they have given close to $50,000 from the fund, says Teterud.

Nadya Godun, who was a recent recipient of the fund, said she is grateful for the financial help, but they have also helped her in other ways.

“If I have trouble, they pray with me,” she said. “It is a lot of support.”