Annie’s Mailbox: Using pot again not the answer

Dear Annie: I am a married man and the father of two wonderful children. I have a past of drug dependency but have been clean and sober for more than a decade. However, in the last few years, my stress level has gone through the roof. My doctor gave me an antidepressant, and things got worse.

Here’s my question. During my drug years, among much other substance abuse, I smoked pot. In an effort to feel better about my current stress, I tried pot again, and, in very low doses, it helps tremendously.

I have been unable to get a doctor to prescribe it. I am not interested in getting high. I just want to keep my anxiety under control, and the pot also seems to help me with anger issues. Of course, pot is illegal and I do not want to take risky chances purchasing it.

So, Annie, am I merely a druggie who went back to the pipe, or could this be an acceptable form of controlling stress? Should I tell my wife and see what she says and risk my entire marriage and family? She has noticed a positive change in me since I started using. If she finds out and wants me to quit, I certainly will. – Stressed in Georgia

Dear Georgia: Your pot smoking is drug use, period. Not only is it illegal, but it feeds your prior habit. Antidepressants sometimes take a bit of trial-and-error before finding one that works, although those, too, are drugs, albeit legal ones. You obviously have a dependency problem, and it would be better if you could find a way to control your stress and anger through behavioral therapy. But yes, please discuss this with your wife. She should know what’s going on and what is being risked.

Dear Annie: Once upon a time, my wife could have written the letter from “Robbed in Michigan,” whose husband died. She also lost her husband at the young age of 32. He also had been her soulmate.

We met at a mutual friend’s party (which she had to be talked into attending). Over time, she was able to cope and even learned to love again. After we married, her 3-year-old became “our” daughter. She now calls me “Dad,” and her biological father is “Angel Daddy.”

My wife still has bad times on the anniversary of her husband’s death, but I have learned to support her through these periods. I want “Robbed” to know that time will heal her pain and eventually she will also be able to love again. Her past and future are separate moments in time, and both should be cherished. Please print this so she can have some hope beyond today. – S.

Dear S.: You sound like a real gem, and your letter is sure to make a difference. Thank you so much for taking the time to write.