Go tech to talk to kids
Raising children in an age of new technology can seem like a frightening concept. But like all things that scare us, the antidote is knowledge. So let’s explore how new-fangled gizmos can help build, rather than hurt, connections between children and parents. Brave the new frontier so you can ride the tech wave alongside your kids.
MySpace
Consider for example, MySpace, the Internet social sphere. Made notorious by predatory misuses, the dangers were made crystal clear. But for every dark night there is a new dawn. When carefully monitored, MySpace can actually reinforce family bonds.
Sitting in my living room, I watched my youngest daughter, 17, send playful photos and messages to her older sister, 24, now living on her own. Type, type, click – the photo appeared on her sister’s MySpace. Type, type, click – her sister’s response soon appeared.
“What are you doing?” I asked my daughter.
“I’m messing with Kerry on MySpace,” she answered.
“Neat,” I said, admiring the elaborate design of her free account. “How did you do all this?”
Within 20 minutes we created a MySpace for Mom. Within an hour, I was in on the fun. Turns out MySpace isn’t just for predators. It’s for anyone. What better way to keep an eye on my teenager than becoming one of her MySpace friends?
Warning. You will see language that may surprise you, but if you resist the urge to overreact, you’ll create a path for healthy discussion.
Text messages and MMS
Is MySpace your only tech option for bridging the generation gap? No way. If you and your kids have cell phones, text messaging and phone photographs, through Multimedia Messaging Services, are promising open doors.
Watch your teen’s face when he or she gets a text message. It’s almost always good news, so kids are eager to pickup when those ring tones sound. Why not take advantage of that good will?
The next time you see a celebrity, a weird road sign, a guy mining deep for nose treasure, take a picture and send it to your teen. When they get a great report card – or even a bad report card with a marginal improvement – text your kid some praise.
Warning. Do not use text messaging for scolding. Do you want to hear you lost an account or a loved one via text message? No, and neither do your kids.
IM
Only slightly different from telephone text messages, Instant Messaging is a way to say “Hey,” while honoring your teen’s need for privacy. No bad news; just to let them know you care.
“Hi,” I might say to my daughter – me in the living room, her in her bedroom. “You still alive?”
“Yeah,” she might respond, “the mirror shows signs of warm breath.”
“You sure you can trust that mirror?” I’d say, adding a smile.
“Heh-heh,” she would type. “I know where I got my sense of humor.”
Short, non-invasive, real. And next time, she might IM me first.
E-mail seems more popular with adults than with most teens. Even so, it’s relevant and most kids today have at least one e-mail account, so it shouldn’t be overlooked.
Wrap up
Are these techno suggestions a replacement for face time? Absolutely not. Nothing can replace those moments in the physical here and now. But technology can reinforce the ground work you’ve set down in the traditional world. And that connection will do more to protect your teen from dangerous predators than any attempt to “just say no.”