The Slice: He’s quiet and doesn’t eat much

So a friend on the North Side asked me for help.

You see, she has an extra-large spider living above her front porch. She doesn’t want to kill it. But she is worried that when the weather gets chilly, the arachnid might seek indoor accommodations.

My friend doesn’t want that to happen.

So she’s wondering if a science teacher or someone else with a legitimate use for a spidosaur might want to come claim it.

If you are interested in this relocation program, call The Slice.

“Pet peeve: The Slice heard from a reader who said it bugs her that, even after decades of experience, some of her neighbors continue to roll the trash out to the curb one day too early on weeks with a Monday holiday.

Maybe they are trying to show everyone that they don’t read the newspaper.

“Feline bonding: Spokane’s Jaynie Hansen was hiking in the Olympic National Forest recently when she saw a bulletin posted at a trail head. It was an alert about cougar sightings. It said that to ward off an attack, you should wave your arms and shout.

“I was wearing my WSU rain poncho at the time,” wrote Hansen. “I told my friend that if I was confronted by a cougar I would spread out my arms to show it my poncho and start singing the WSU fight song, hoping that the big cat would recognize me as a fellow Coug.”

Luckily, she never had to implement her plan.

“Finish this sentence: You should realize you are too old to still be driving when …

“No, I can’t hear you now: “My husband was having issues today while multitasking,” wrote Denise Apele. “He was eating a banana and calling someone on his cell phone. After punching in the phone number, he promptly stuck the banana in his ear.”

“When people discover that you were a cheerleader: “It’s as if they have just unearthed some unspeakable crime in your past,” wrote Pam Stark.

“Slice answer: So there are, in fact, people who wear aprons. Elizabeth Henkel of Coeur d’Alene is one of many.

“My first apron was hand embroidered for me by my aunt when I was 3,” she wrote. “It’s almost 50 years later and I still have it.”

She said she always wears one while cooking and the numerous stains on them would explain why. “I even take an apron to wear in the ‘kitchen’ when we are tent camping.”

“Today’s Slice question: What would be the quintessential Inland Northwest “Honk if you … ” bumper sticker?