Dr. Gott:: Diabetes limits physical intimacy

Dear Dr. Gott: First, let me thank you for your wise words to all of us out here in newspaperland.

I have a problem with no help in sight.

After my husband became a diabetic at 40, our sex life was still good. At about 42, the trouble began, so our family doctor prescribed Viagra. It worked great for about a year.

Next came Levitra and then Cialis. When the pills failed, his urologist prescribed the pump, follow by injections.

Now my husband is 51, and we’ve been through two general doctors and two urologists. We are out of ideas to keep our sex life alive.

I am only 51 and miss the intimacy terribly. We’d like to find a counselor to get ideas or a group session to listen to how other couples work around it, but our family doctor won’t touch the subject with us. He only suggests a rigid implant (not an option for us).

Where do we turn to find support? Are there others like us out there?

Dear Reader: There are lots of you out there. Your husband’s problem is common and can cause great upheavals in the family, especially when those people, such as your husband, have exhausted their options for treatment.

At this point, you may have to rethink the issue. Perhaps it is now time to deal with the probability that your husband’s erectile dysfunction is permanent.

Once you have accepted this, he may need to learn ways of giving you sexual gratification without intercourse. Ask his urologist if there is an erectile-dysfunction counseling service or support group in your community.

And then get ready for some frank and interesting meetings.

If no such resources are available, he should return to his urologist for further advice.

Diabetes often causes erectile dysfunction. You do not say whether your husband’s diabetes is under good control.

Is he taking medication? Insulin injections? Does he follow a healthful diet?

All of these should be brought into consideration as well.

If his diabetes is not under control, work with his doctor to bring it within normal limits. This may help the situation greatly.

He may need to follow a stricter diet or increase his medication. He may wish to see an endocrinologist, a specialist in glandular diseases and disorders, such as diabetes.

To give you related information, I am sending you copies of my health reports “Living with Diabetes Mellitus” and “Erectile Dysfunction.” Other readers who would like copies should send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope and $2 for each report to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title(s).