Doug Clark : Answering these questions as easy as tapping three times

The Larry Craig soap opera gets more convoluted with each passing day.

On Wednesday, for example, the drama moved into a Minneapolis courtroom where …

Wait. Why should I waste any of my precious space regurgitating details about the Idaho senator who was busted in June in an airport men’s room sex-solicitation sting?

Leave that mundane stuff to reporters.

As a columnist, I am not here to regurgitate. I am here to instigate and irritate.

And so I have created the Larry Craig Airport Commode Quiz for your enlightenment.

You will need (do I even need to say it?) a No. 2 pencil.

Please circle your answers. Then mail your finished quiz to Sen. Lusty Craig – 520 Hart Senate Office Building, Washington, DC 20510-1203 – where each test will be enthusiastically shredded by one of the senator’s sniveling staff members.

Happy testing.

1. In arguing that their client should be allowed to rescind his admission of guilt to a lesser charge, Larry Craig’s attorneys relied on a rare toilet tort law known as:

A. A pee reversal.

B. A do-do over.

C. An ex-poo crapto.

2. Larry Craig’s on-again, off-again resignation and his guilty plea flip-flop just prove that:

A. Everybody makes mistakes.

B. Everybody has a right to change his mind.

C. Our leaders are the mopes we’ve always thought they were.

3. A frequent flier, Larry Craig’s favorite part of an airplane is:

A. The right wing.

B. The first class lavatory.

C. The cockpit.

4. Larry Craig claims his foot tapping, under-the-stall waving and peeping were not meant to solicit sex in the airport men’s room. He was merely trying to:

A. Borrow a few fresh sheets of toilet paper.

B. Press the flesh like all politicians do.

C. Summon a handler for his bag.

5. Having the ACLU on Larry Craig’s side is like:

A. The Hells Angels booking the Village People for a clubhouse weenie roast.

B. Donald Trump dating Rosie.

C. Iran hosting a gay pride parade.

6. Should Congress turn the now-infamous Larry Craig airport toilet stall into a national monument, it would be called:

A. The Grand Can.

B. The Stinkin’ Memorial.

C. Mount Flushmore.

7. “Tap Three Times,” the sensational parody Larry Craig song and slide show:

A. Racked up 113,964 hits on YouTube.

B. Is lyrically superior to the Capitol Steps’ copycat version.

C. Enough already! I just got that stinking Tony Orlando tune out of my head.

8. Larry Craig did not attend Wednesday’s court proceedings in Minnesota due to a pressing engagement in:

A. Idaho.

B. Washington, D.C.

C. The I-90 Huetter rest-stop crapper.

9. After being arrested by an undercover officer, Larry Craig only copped to a reduced charge because he was:

A. In a state of panic.

B. Suffering from excited delirium.

C. GUILTY!!!

10. For the good of the Grand Old Party, Republican leaders wish that Larry Craig would please just:

A. Resign as promised.

B. Crawl into a cave and disappear.

C. Become a Democrat.