At least farmers’ divots would pay dividends

It probably won’t happen, even if wheat prices go still higher.

But a lot of golfers around here would be spared a fair amount of frustration in coming months if teams of radical farmers would plow up area courses and plant crops.

OK, let’s move on.

“Slice salute: To all my fellow Inland Northwesterners who demonstrated in recent months a good-natured awareness of the fact that the weather does what it wants.

“Slice answer: “Evidently, when I cough or clear my throat, I sound like a WSU mascot,” wrote Kate Brooks of Spokane.

After hearing this modified roar, her friends have been known to say, “Go Cougs!”

“Feedback: “What’s wrong with bathroom reading?” wondered Janet Yoder. “In our house, one part of the master bathroom is referred to as ‘the library,’ as in ‘Dad can’t come to the phone right now. He’s in the library.’ “

“Just wondering: Do you sort of hate yourself for finding a certain celebrity destabilizingly attractive even though you have every reason to suspect that person is a ridiculous human being?

“Music to get wasted by: A couple of readers who did not win The Slice’s recent beer jingle-singing contest have had the last laugh. That’s because I can’t get the lines from the old Schaefer commercials out of my head. (One reader even performed this jingle in Spanish. Apparently Schaefer was big in Puerto Rico.)

The jingle in question comes from a time back before brewers felt the need to feign social responsibility or worry about offending feminists.

Anyway, it occurs to me that the only way to purge this tune from my mind is to infect others.

So here you go.

Let’s all sing.

Schaefer is the one beer to have

When you’re having more than one.

Schaefer’s pleasure doesn’t fade

Even when your thirst is done.

The most rewarding flavor

In this man’s world.

For people who are having fun.

Schaefer is the one beer to have

When you’re having more than one.

“Get in touch with your Inner Spokane: It’s almost time to start yelling, “Hey, get off my lawn!”

“Slice quiz: Briefly identify the roundabout connection between Samantha Stephens of “Bewitched” and Spokane.

One reader submitting the correct answer will be selected to receive a coveted reporter’s notebook.

“The most annoying Elton John song: “Bennie and the Jets” — Maria Washington

“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” — Art Anderson

“The one he’s singing.” — Bill Stimson

“Today’s Slice question: What’s it like to be an Idaho Democrat?