Our View: Caring adults a positive force for struggling families

Every family could use wise and compassionate grandmas and grandpas. These elders can often cut through family dynamics and dysfunction. They can also step in with hugs, advice (when asked) and some spare change to use in emergencies.

In a recent Our Kids: Our Business poll, those surveyed said parents have the greatest responsibility for reducing child abuse and neglect. But survey participants believe extended family members have power, too. They do indeed.

One-third of grandparents, however, report remote relationships with their grandchildren, primarily because the grandchildren live so far away, according to the book “Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society.” So wise grandparents can be hard to come by. Who can fill the void? Any adult who has the best interest of young people at heart, says Joanne Benham, Spokane regional youth department director.

“I had good parents. They were real involved. But it didn’t mean I didn’t need reinforcement from people who weren’t my parents,” Benham said. “I could talk until I was blue in my face with my own kids and they’d give you that glazed look. And then another adult that they respected would say the same thing, but they heard it differently. It had credibility.”

In struggling families, these adults have tremendous power to change preconceived attitudes. Benham explained: “When families are in crisis, or the adults haven’t had that kind of mentoring, they aren’t aware of the need for positive reinforcement. So the kids don’t hear it.”

In another Our Kids: Our Business survey, 59 percent of those surveyed said they’d be willing to volunteer to help prevent child abuse and neglect in the community.

Adults who want to volunteer with children but are unsure where their talents reside should visit a community center to better understand needs from a neighborhood level. For instance, at West Central Community Center you might find your skills best match the nutritional education that happens in the WIC program where pregnant women get help purchasing and preparing nutrient-rich food. The center also hosts programs for young people with developmental disabilities. There’s a Head Start program for the littlest ones, as well as recreation programs for adolescents.

Don Higgins, executive director of West Central Community Center, says clients leave encouraged that things will change for the better in their lives, and “that encouragement helps them become advocates for their families.”

These advocates then possess the potential to evolve into the wise and compassionate grandmas and grandpas who look out for our children — those connected by kinship or those connected, voluntarily, from the heart.