The Slice

MONDAY, AUG. 4, 2008

In almost every extended family, there is at least one idiot who delights in filling relatives’ e-mail in-boxes with time-wasting political “commentary.”

Now, to the senders, these witless assaults on candidates they don’t like are entertaining and illuminating. In reality, they more often tend to be crude, stupid and uninformed.

So what do you say to the relative in question? A few ideas come to mind.

“Uncle Bob, I have come to the agonizing conclusion that either you do not know me at all or you believe I am a moron. Like you.”

“I am stunned to discover that you assume I share your knuckle-dragger world view.”

“Hi, Aunt Amy. Get some therapy.”

“It occurs to me, Cousin Brad, that you are a pathetic dupe. God bless.”

Paul Turner


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