The Slice: There’s a reason why it’s known as a six-pack

You might have heard about this.

According to a survey of 88 U.S. markets, Spokane ranks third highest in its percentage (8.8) of adults who drink beer at least six days in a typical two-week period.

Apparently that’s a lot. Only Wilmington, N.C., and Reno, Nev., finished ahead of us.

Why so much beer drinking?

The brief report on the survey doesn’t really say. But The Slice has a few theories.

Feel free to select the explanation that rings true to you.

A) Tastes great. B) We have more than our share of former class clowns who never grasped the connection between academic achievement and opportunity. Chugging suds is their way of easing the disappointment defining their adult reality. C) Spokane has a lot of softball teams. D) The prospect of perky local media coverage of Pig Out in the Park drives some to drink.

E) An alarmingly high percentage of local men want real life to be like “Animal House.” F) What else are you going to do on your deck? G) What else are you going to do at the lake? H) Hard-core sobriety doesn’t bring out the best in some people.

I) Guys of a certain age around here love saying “coldie.” J) The prospect of another WSU football season. K) The notion that downing lager after lager enhances one’s charm and virility. L) Saluting the classic link between outdoor recreation and outdoor urination.

M) It takes practice to develop a discerning palate. N) Our “party”-as-a-verb leisure ethos. O) Belief that beer commercials are documentaries. P) Many thought that the small-type on the ads says “Drink relentlessly.”

Q) “Beer Nature/Beer Perfect.” R) Regional regard for grain. S) S-R readers wanting to numb themselves before getting to the letters to the editor page. T) No one ever cared enough to say, “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

U) Friends in low places. V) Beer complements most of Spokane’s most popular cuisines. W) Pencil-necked assistant managers named Skip who say things like “Look, Stewart, if you can’t get this inventory completed by Friday I’ll find someone who can.” X) What else are you going to do after mowing? Y) It’s all part of a plot to get people here to vote for candidates whose policies in no way represent this area’s economic interests. Z) Spokane role model: Homer Simpson.

•Warm-up question: Which dam is more impressive – Grand Coulee or Hoover?

•Today’s Slice question: We all know that the technology involved in playing recorded music has changed over the years. But do people still yell at tone-deaf roommates who are listening to songs through headphones of some kind, and request that they please stop singing along?