The Slice: Claiming seniority in bad behavior

A senior citizen who has temporary custody of a preschooler said she tells her occasionally exasperated husband, “He’s just being a normal 3-year-old.”

So her husband fires back, “Yeah, well, I’m just being a normal 75-year-old by complaining about it.”

“Slice reader Eric C. Johnson wonders: “Is it just me or is Spokane getting to be real wimpy?”

“Seasonally inspired baby names: “How about Whitey?” wrote Pamela Stark. “Remember him on ‘Leave it to Beaver’?”

“Variation on a theme: Thomas Jacobson suggests the expression, “Berm me up.”

“Breaking news about the Solbergs: Last Saturday, someone from KREM asked Tom Solberg on-camera what he thought of having his driveway cleared by people involved with Channel 2’s “Big Dig” community project. “I didn’t even notice them doing it,” he said.

At about the same time, a reporter from KXLY interviewed Solberg’s wife at the blood center, where she was donating.

Later, when it was time for the TV news, the Solbergs managed to catch both of the segments featuring their interviews. They wonder if that is some sort of family record.

“Failure to grasp the concept: Jana Dubes was discussing winter driving strategies with a young woman who seemed baffled about coping with the weather.

Dubes mentioned kitty litter’s effectiveness as a traction agent.

The young woman was puzzled. “But I don’t have a cat,” she said.

“The Streets of Spokane: An intrepid friend was out on his bicycle on Lidgerwood Saturday morning. He heard a vehicle honking at some of his fellow cyclists, who were strung out behind him a ways. “Not a polite ‘Coming up on your left’ tap,” he noted.

This was angry honking.

“I turned and saw a brown minivan churning past us in the ice-packed center lane. As the van got closer, I could hear a huge dog barking from inside of it. Guys in old minivans with big dogs, for some reason, tend to not have a whole lot of patience for cyclists.”

My friend was steeling himself for a possible confrontation with the minivan’s driver when he heard the other cyclists laughing. He quickly found out why.

When the van pulled even with him, my friend saw that the driver was a nun. “Probably in her 70s,” he said. “In full habit.”

Suddenly full of grace, my friend relaxed.

“Sister Mary Patience didn’t realize it, but she just made everyone’s day.”

“Today’s Slice question: When big icicles were falling off your home, did you briefly wonder if your house had inexplicably come under fire?