Annie’s Mailbox: Pal plays victim to be controlling

Dear Annie: I am a very active 65-year-old widower and have found a 60-year- old lady with whom I want to spend my life. There is one problem. “Shirley” has a male friend (no sex involved) whom she sees for dinner once in a while, and who has always helped her around the house. They also have gone on trips as “just friends.”

Shirley has told this man that she has chosen me, and now, after five years, he says he can’t let her go.

Shirley tells me she loves me, and I love her, but she says if he did something to hurt himself, she couldn’t live with it. Should I have to wait around for her to talk her way out of this mess? He will not take no for an answer. – Need Help

Dear Need Help: If Shirley is serious about choosing you, she must find a way to disentangle herself from the control freak who won’t let go. If he wanted a more intimate relationship, he would have taken steps in that direction long ago. Now he is manipulating her emotions and doing a good job of it. Shirley is not responsible for her friend’s behavior. Give her one month to work this out, and if she still won’t leave him, walk away. It means she has chosen him over you.

Dear Annie: Years ago, Ann Landers printed a piece about all the excuses people have for not going to church. Could you find it? Thanks. – N.R.

Dear N.R.: Here you go: The No-Excuse Sunday (Author Unknown)

1. Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say, “Sunday is my only day for sleeping in.”

2. Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired from watching TV too late on Saturday night.

3. We will have steel helmets for those who believe the roof will cave in if they show up for church services.

4. Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the church is too cold. Fans will be on hand for those who say it is too hot.

5. We will have hearing aids for those who say, “The pastor talks too softly.” There will be cotton for those who say he is too loud.

6. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to count the hypocrites present.

7. Relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

8. TV dinners will be available for those who claim they can’t go to church and cook dinner too.

9. One section of the church will have some trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially on the golf course.

10. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.