From China, with lots of love

After five years of infertility treatment, Vicki Sax’s yearning for children was both painful and unyielding.

“It was ridiculous,” said her husband, Ken, recalling the trouble the couple had gone through during those fruitless years. They had always known they would adopt children, even if they had children of their own. Ken’s father was an orphan and lived a successful life. “We had always wanted to give a child that same kind of opportunity.” he said.

So when the couple’s house builder happened to hear the subject and pointed to the photos of his own two adopted Chinese daughters on his coffee mug, Ken’s heart was stolen right there and then. That same night, Vicki, who was equally smitten with the idea, got on the Internet and started the process.

“At that point, I didn’t care where the children came from or who it was. I just wanted to have a child in my arms.” Recalled Vicki, cuddling 3-year old Jamesyn Qian Chuan, who squirreled between the arms of her parents. “After Jamesyn came home with us, we wanted more.”

Vicki wanted another child; Ken wanted a boy, which presented a dilemma since adoption from China, in most cases, is limited to female children. In most of the cases, these girls have been abandoned by parents seeking male children to carry on the family name, as dictated by tradition. Male orphans are uncommon, and most of them are open to domestic adoption only. The ones that are available usually have some form of special need.

When Small World Adoption Agency presented the list of available boys, one in particular caught the Saxes’ eye – Owen GuiJian.

“Owen had cleft palate,” Vicki said. “But his gaze is so kind and soft. We could tell that he is a happy boy despite his handicap.”

The Saxes’ instinct turned out to be correct. Although Owen was abandoned at 9 days old, he was placed in foster care, where he was loved and had the free reign of the house. The Saxes understood the implications of having a child that has special needs. But they also understood the importance of giving the child a second chance in life, not to mention their heart strings were already tied by the baby’s gaze the moment they saw his picture.

The Saxes brought in a specialist from Sacred Heart to tell them all they should expect and know about a cleft palate. They talked to other families. All the while, Vicki was sending Owen care parcels. Despite the amount of work ahead, Owen was already her son.

The Chinese government canceled the promised first surgery on Owen’s palate after his adoption was finalized. The Saxes fought to reverse the decision and right before the child boarded the plane to come home to Spokane in August 2006, Owen had his first of a series of corrective surgeries.

“We named him Owen – little warrior, because he is such a brave little fighter,” Vicki said of her son, who was exuberantly clanking on a toy by her feet. From now until he is 16 or 18, Owen will need reconstructive surgery every two years. But for Vicki and Ken Sax, it’s a small inconvenience that they are only too happy to embrace, for Owen.