Boomers and Beyond: Age really just state of mind

“Am I beginning to show my age?” I fret. Heaven forbid, that we should actually look our age. Or, or worse yet, that we should look older. Is there a soul alive that would be thrilled about looking older than their years? It’s doubtful, except maybe for 9-year-olds who want to look 10 or 12.

This self-imposed personal crisis about looking “old” starts about age 40 and it dies hard, if ever. Do we eventually reach nirvana – where we finally don’t give a rip how old we look? Or, does this egomaniacal obsession live on until our last gasp?

Aging, although not something to which we eagerly look forward, is still the best alternative. But aging in today’s youth-obsessed society, with its negative myths and attitudes about older people, makes the prospect even more dreadful.

Today, we spend a third of our lives being “older.” But do we really feel any different? No wonder we fret and stew about it, as we examine ourselves in the mirror – aghast at what looks back at us.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who will hire us, love us …wrinkles, sags and all? We have a self-esteem crisis; our (formerly healthy) sense of self-worth is shaken to the core. Being an “older person” in America is the prune pits.

What to do? Well, I could quip – smartly, just like the young ‘uns do, “Just get over it!” That’s easier said than done, but they speak the truth. It’s the first order of business to avoid becoming angry and crotchety.

Younger is staying connected with and contributing to life around one’s self, standing tall, walking with a light step, eating real and healthful foods, watching the scale, keeping an updated personal appearance and laughing as much as possible.

Think about it … what makes a person seem old, anyway? Wrinkles, gray hair, a few extra pounds – obvious clues – but they are indeed the least of it. Our image, our countenance, matters the most. When we project a youthful countenance we instantly derail the “older person” message. Achieving this is both an inside and an outside job.

The philosopher William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human can change his life by changing his attitude of mind.”

We can take that to the bank. As older people, we have great potential – not in spite of our aging, but because of it. Our generation has felt the stirrings of a cultural change in which the second half of our lives can be even more productive and meaningful than the first half … and attitude is critical.

Yes, face-lifts, nips and tucks, hair coloring, plus dropping a few pounds, all help us look younger but if we don’t project that old vim, vigor and vitality, they’re useless. It’s delightfully obvious to everyone when we’re enjoying life. A passion for life is one of the standout characteristics of people who seem perpetually young.

And, dressing to look “spiffy” works, too. What a great effect that has on our attitude. Doesn’t a new outfit give our spirits a lift? Even a new haircut, (unless they really botch it!) can do the same thing. And, what a major lift we get when we lose a little weight, especially when we discover that we can once again zip up our jeans without lying on our back and gasping for air.

Our “personal presentation package” tells the world how old we are, at least how old we think we are. Our hairstyle, our facial expression, the way we walk and hold our posture, plus the way we wear our clothes and maintain our personal grooming – that’s the sum of our personal presentation package.

Such details reveal our mind-set, broadcasting more than just our age; they tell the world how we see ourselves. If our attitudes froze somewhere back in the ‘50s, ‘60s or ‘70s, it sticks out all over us.

If you doubt the importance of personal presentation, think about how Hollywood can unerringly create the character required for a movie script. It’s readily accomplished through costume design, hairstyle and make-up. Add, the actor’s body movements, facial expression, vocal delivery and – voilá – the character is completely believable.

It’s potent stuff. We, too, can create an illusion – an illusion of youthful vitality. If we dress and act the part – we become the illusion we’ve created.

Laugh at the myth of aging. Let “Over What Hill?” be your mantra. Want “drop-dead gorgeous?” Then think “drop dead gorgeous,” whatever your age. That’s how it works. Really!