Time again to check the ol’ windbaaag
‘Mr. Clark … Your article not only displayed you as embarrassment to the boomer generation, but a complete idiot.”
You know, one of the rewards of being a big-shot columnist is hearing from the people who “get me.”
So thanks, Vickey. Your e-mailed observation was a real wake-up call. It woke me up to the fact that we’re way overdue for another installment of Reeeaaader’s Windbaaag.
This is the forum that allows readers like Vickey a chance to express themselves on the big issues of the day (politics, journalism, my IQ …) without fear of being identified, verified or terrified like Paula Abdul on “American Idol.”
Man, did you catch that freak?
Poor Paula just sat there in fear while the guy serenaded her about how he wanted to put on her underwear.
I tell ya, for a moment it was like having Richard Curtis back in town.
Speaking of which …
Two words: “Republican caucuses”
Jim writes that his big hope for 2008 is to be in an airport when the following announcement comes over the intercom:
“Paging Mr. Richard Curtis, please proceed directly to Concourse B men’s restroom to meet Sen. Craig, Stall 7.”
Aw, next time just say you’re shorter
“Are you Doug Clark?”
Richard writes to tell me about the heady thrill of mistaken identity.
It happened at a UPS depot. Richard, who was sporting one of my “I Gave. Really. I Gave” buttons, was mailing Christmas packages when another worker “leapt behind the person handling my transaction and stared at the register intently.”
Finally, the guy asked Richard the above question.
Richard could have told the guy a lot of things.
Instead, he …
Oh, let’s just let Richard explain what he said in his own words.
” ‘No,’ I replied. Then I said (or did I just think it?) ‘I have more hair.’ “
Every cloud has a sliver lining
“I retired last year and have noticed that the Spokesman contains about half the information that it did previously,” writes Gary.
As a matter of fact, Gary, fiscal pressures have forced us to cut our content exactly in half.
There has been a positive side effect, however. Accuracy Watch corrections have coincidentally DROPPED 50 PERCENT!
“Your Cheatin’ Heart” on IRS CD
M.C., an office manager for an area physician, reports receiving a CD titled “Medicare Bulletin and other Part B Resources” from an insurance provider.
Then M.C. tried to play it. Instead of the usual boring insurance stuff, the disk contained 10 downloaded country and western songs.
The first tune, she says, was “The Bug,” which contains the lyric:
“Sometimes you’re the windshield – Sometimes you’re the bug.”
Far be it from me to tell M.C. her business. But that line sums up our health care system better than any insurance table.
Deodorant clause added in ‘96
“Have the recent changes in personnel at the paper resulted in extra effort on your part?”
Thanks for asking, Lynn.
Yes, there have been a lot of changes here at the ol’ Spokesman. But surprisingly – despite the layoffs and reassignments and drops in circulation – I still operate under the same conditions I accepted back when I began writing my column in 1984:
No pants. No paycheck.