An image boost

Feminism has encouraged American women to run marathons, run companies and run for president. So why, when it comes to being genuinely proud of themselves, do so many still limp like horse-hobbled cowgirls after a bruising day on the range?

Air-brushed models on magazine covers and comments from mean siblings during childhood perhaps account for two of the many reasons adult women waste brain cells loathing their legs or second-guessing their smarts.

In the end, though, the only question that matters in some circles is: Can’t we just be done with it already?

A couple of new Web sites and a Lifetime TV series are picking up on the pro-confidence vibe generated a few years ago, when Dove unveiled its “Campaign for Real Beauty” with ads featuring women of all sizes, body types and races.

If improving women’s attitudes toward themselves is a lofty goal, it also seems to be hovering within view. At least for the moment.

“Women are starting to object to the standards they feel are being forced upon them,” says Melissa Grossman.

Grossman was born in Parma, Ohio, 38 years ago and now works as a life coach and writer in Atlanta. At the start of the year, she unveiled a community blog called “31 Congrats” at www.freshapproachcoach. com/31congrats.

Every day this month, Grossman posts one thing she’s proud of. An early January entry: “On September 1st I divorced my one credit card – cold turkey.” She has also abandoned crazy workouts, fit vegetables into her diet and acknowledges her own talent for combining creativity and organization.

The site also highlights other people. One woman is proud she learned to ride a Harley. A free-lance branding expert started charging clients what she thinks her work is worth. An artist increased traffic to her blog by 600 percent last year.

Back in November, Grossman started contemplating the new year and its requisite goal-setting. That’s what she does well and helps clients to do, but “I wasn’t feeling at all enthused about setting those goals,” she says.

Why not head into 2008 with a sense of her strengths instead?

The blog is getting about 35 to 40 visitors a day, as far as she can figure. Most have been women, which didn’t surprise her.

Women “are always assessing themselves, comparing themselves to someone else they’ve heard about,” she says. “So (life becomes) an arduous process of trying to squeeze a round peg into a square hole.”

And that’s a tough way to live, say Diane Prefontaine and Carla Alpert.

The two operate www.hangproud.com, a commercial Web site that encourages girls and women to “stand united to stop self-criticism” and just do good work in the world. The site was launched in June 2007 after Alpert, a graphic artist in her 40s, had an epiphany.

She’d been spending time with her sister, and they’d been making jokes about their sagging body parts and aging skin. Those replaced the jokes they’ve made since childhood, when they used to talk about how one perfect woman could be constructed from the “better” body parts of each.

Alpert had wrestled with her insecurities for years. When she thought of the time and energy wasted on such worries, “I decided enough is enough already. I’m going to hang proud with who I am.”

She approached Prefontaine about the idea for a Web site that would encourage other women to hang proud, too.

“It resonated with me because growing up I always had a best friend who was beautiful, and I was the nerd who compensated for my lack of prettiness by being the class clown,” says Prefontaine, a media buyer.

The site publishes articles and essays written by women on a variety of topics. It sells shirts and accessories, with 10 percent of proceeds going to a college scholarship fund that the women hope to begin awarding in 2009.

In November, the site had 250,000 hits.

Many of the stories on www.hangproud.com focus on what women do that makes them feel good about themselves: their work, hobbies and the relationships they feed.

There’s less emphasis on what has made them feel bad, which can be things like abusive relationships but also often comes down to body image. That’s the purview of the Lifetime TV series “How to Look Good Naked,” which airs at 9 p.m. on Fridays. Former “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” personality Carson Kressley hosts this makeover-therapy combo. He encourages women to lose the loathing and just dress and carry themselves to emphasize their assets.

The first episode, which aired Jan. 4, featured a pretty, plump young woman whom Kressley takes shopping. The quest begins with a no-holds-barred lingerie overhaul (Layla has been wearing the wrong-sized bra), and Kressley tries unsuccessfully to get her to say, “I feel sexy.” By show’s end, he persuades her to pose for a few soft nude shots, one of which is projected onto the side of a building. Kressley gets Layla to ask passers-by, “How do I look naked?” All televised replies are positive.

If the show satisfies esteem-starved viewers on one hand, it has already inspired critics. “Being fat isn’t a moral failing, but it is a failing,” writes Jay Black at TVsquad.com. He writes that overweight people would be better served by “The Biggest Loser,” and criticizes the feel-good message of Kressley’s show as unrealistic.

Indeed, there’s more than one route to self-improvement, says Grossman. “I would be foolish to say some people don’t respond to negative reinforcement – it’s certainly true for some people.”

Others might find, however, that after years of self-flagellation, getting a few compliments – even from themselves – puts them on firmer footing to make changes of their own choosing.

“I do believe that this whole process of congratulating … is really a way of building a relationship with yourself, or reconnecting with who you are,” Grossman says.