Not everything went according to script at the 23rd annual Human Rights Celebration at North Idaho College last week. Three international exchange students from St. Maries High caused a few chuckles among the assembled 1,250 fifth-graders when their speeches veered unexpectedly from human rights. Ondrej Slansky of the Czech Republic introduced the rabbit trail during a discussion of the difference between freedoms in his country and the United States. “I’m really proud of my country,” he said, “The Czech Republic has good beer.” Catching himself, he went on to say that he appreciates the freedom of religion here, noting that his country has one dominant faith, Catholic, while St. Maries alone has more than a dozen different churches. Later, Christian Mest of Germany wouldn’t let Ondrej’s boast go unchallenged. “I don’t agree with Ondrej,” Christian said. “We have better beer.” Then, he added: “Maybe talking about beer isn’t the best thing here.” Especially if it’s the thing the young audience remembers.
I’ve never eaten Rocky Mountain oysters. Nor will I ever eat Rocky Mountain oysters. As a son of a dairyman, I consider consumption of bull testicles to be a sin against other males in the animal kingdom. But I don’t judge those who do eat them. Such as colleague Taryn Hecker. Who trekked to the Enaville Resort Thursday to eat bovine testicles for the first time. Taryn tells of her venture in her blog, The Skinny On North Idaho. She had several questions for owner Joe Peak re: preparation: “Squeezed and pounded flat and breaded, or is it sliced? Medium-done or rare? Or do you want those babies cooked like a post-E. coli Jack in The Box burger? No pink in the middle. Angus or Hereford? Are they really grown in the Rockies? How big do they get? Fresh or frozen?” I won’t tell you whether Taryn followed through on her quest. You can find the link to her blog post at Huckleberries Online. But I’ll tell you that we male colleagues quailed when she recounted her outing with menace in her voice.
Pee? No shrimp
At a local kindergarten, A Butterfly Moment tells of her conversation with a little rascal who was roaming the hallways without permission. ABM: You have to tell me when you go to the restroom. I need to know where you are.” Kid: (stares). ABM: “Do you understand? You have to ask before you leave the room.” Kid: “Shrimp! I smell shrimp!” At that point, ABM could only sigh. And smile. Such is life in the twilight zone known as kindergarten.
A colleague was offered an interesting excuse by Chuck Reynalds’ Girl Friday when she tried to contact the Shoshone County sheriff last week. Sez the secretary: “He’s with a client right now.” Sheriffs have clients? Or is that sheriff speak for going potty? … Speaking of Shoshone County, you can read about resurgent Kellogg by Googling the headline: “A mining town with a bleak past starts to blossom.” Last week, reporter Matthew Preusch weighed the pros and cons of the Silver Valley town in a New York Times travel piece … Huckleberries Online has a blog roll link posted for S-R columnist Doug Clark’s latest parody, “The Duane B. Hagadone Blues.” If you haven’t heard it, most of you will thank me after tuning in to the bluesy rendition.
Editorialist Tom Henderson of the Lewiston Tribune offers a common-sense response to the ACLU defense of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig that horndogs engaged in sex in a public restroom have a right to privacy. Writes Tom: “Perhaps years of training as a gay ninja have given you superhuman stealth. Otherwise, do yourself a favor. Don’t attempt to have sex in a public restroom. You will draw attention to yourself.” Duh.