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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Patt Morrison: Karmic justice, karmic remorse

Patt Morrison The Spokesman-Review

Come on, admit it. You love watching people wallow in misery of their own making. You must have read about the guy who fell onto Interstate 5 from the overpass he allegedly had been tagging? He was holding a can of spray paint when he landed. Crime and instant punishment. Three weeks ago, another alleged tagger, who’s been seen a quarter of a million times on YouTube brazenly graffitoing his name above U.S. Highway 101, got busted.

You’re a pretty saintly person if you didn’t have an instant, fleeting sense of “Yeah, they got what was coming to them.” And you’re a pretty sick person if you didn’t, a minute later, feel a little guilty ripple for rejoicing in someone else’s suffering.

All that human ambivalence is right here in an e-mail from one reader, James, to my Los Angeles Times colleague, Ari B. Bloomekatz, who wrote about the tagger: “He fell GOOD … hope he broke his ass and can never walk again.” Right under James’ name was one of those Hallmark thoughts-of-the-day that some people attach to e-mails. This one read, “Make sure your life has a sense of peace, a sense of purpose and a sense of fulfillment.”

It was whiplash funny, like getting mugged by a Hare Krishna.

There’s no shortage of opportunities for the gloat-and-guilt response. In Oregon, an anti-abortion congressional candidate’s former girlfriend is saying he gave her money for an abortion (he denies knowing that’s what the money was for). This week, I was filling up my hybrid a couple of gas pumps away from a guy who was filling his Hummer – and filling it and filling it. Beautiful.

Why do we love this feeling so much? It’s schadenfreude – the pleasure we take in someone else’s misfortune. Academics have another definition for it. Julie Albright, who teaches social psychology at the University of Southern California, says it’s “the just-world hypothesis,” the belief that others “deserve what they get and get what they deserve.”

The wheels of justice are majestic but slow, the instruments of government are laborious, but karmic payback – that’s instant gratification. “People,” Albright says, “like to organize the world in lines that make sense of things. It’s comforting. If there’s no sense or order to the world, it means everything is chaos.”

Even better, it’s personal. “It’s a way for people to keep the social order, to understand why they’re doing the right thing,” Albright says.

But why, then, the remorse reverb? What interrupts this huge game of gotcha?

Albright can explain that, too. “We have a culture of being nice,” and we’re socialized that way. “You think, ‘There but for the grace of God go I. I might have bought that (Hummer). I might have done something dumb.’ “

So your id screams “Sucker!” and then your superego whispers back “That’s not right” or “Hold on, you could be next.” And yes, the dude was probably tagging – but he broke his back when he fell. How do you feel now?

We still have practically the whole summer ahead of us – celeb screw-ups to relish and then feel remorse about; the satisfaction of knowing that there’s got to be someone driving a bigger gas gobbler than you are.

That’ll be enough to tide us over to November, to the national event that practically runs on high-octane schadenfreude: the election.