Frequent breaks can take edge off

Dear Annie: My husband is in his early 50s and self-employed. We are lucky that business is good, but it means he works 24/7. He works from home, so I can accept his long hours, but his mood swings are hard to handle. He gets very angry, mostly with me (I work with him). If I mention that he needs to chill out, he only gets worse. He complains I don’t communicate enough with him, and he feels isolated. Depression runs in his family, and when I suggest he consider medication, he then makes an effort to change, but it doesn’t last long.

I don’t know what to do. I love him, but it’s hard to be around him, because of his temperament, and it seems to be getting worse. What do you think? – Unhappy Worker

Dear Unhappy: You both need to get out of the house more often. Your husband is feeling closed in, which makes him nervous and irritable. Short breaks can alleviate his mood and help both of you get through the day. Don’t chastise him. Instead, explain that being cooped up all day hurts productivity. Suggest an outdoor coffee break twice a day, alone or together, and maybe the two of you can go somewhere for lunch or for a walk now and then. If he refuses to leave the house, you should do so without him.

Dear Annie: My in-laws did not attend my son’s high-school graduation. Instead, they went to the wedding of their youngest child, “Dick.” This was his fourth wedding. We were supposed to get an invitation, but it never arrived.

Dick divorced his third wife just six months ago. He knew about my son’s graduation long before he planned this wedding and could easily have selected another date. My husband feels his brother purposely scheduled it at the same time in order to steal the spotlight.

Dick has always been the favored child. I would like you to tell my in-laws how wrong they are to go to their son’s fourth wedding instead of their grandson’s only high-school graduation. – Heartbroken Mom in Indiana

Dear Mom: Since this is Dick’s fourth walk down the aisle and he allowed it to coincide with his nephew’s graduation, we agree that the in-laws should have made a greater effort to attend the graduation or at least apologized profusely for missing it. Still, it serves no purpose to hold a grudge. Since you recognize Dick is the favorite, these slights should not surprise you. If you change your expectations, you will be less disappointed.