Annie’s Mailbox : Alcohol-Xanax combo not recommended

Dear Annie: My 80-year-old aunt is taking the antidepressant Xanax. I am concerned because she also has a nightly cocktail. She assures me that her doctor approves of this.

I have done some research, and everything I’ve read states it is not advised to mix Xanax and alcohol, especially for the elderly. My aunt tends to be forgetful, and if she takes more than her prescribed dose with the alcohol, it could be deadly.

I called my aunt’s doctor and left a message about my concerns. When my aunt found out, she went ballistic and insisted her nightly drinks are OK. I do not have any legal authority to speak to her doctor, so I don’t know if she is being truthful with him. Would a doctor ever approve of this? If my concerns are unfounded, it will take a load of worry off my shoulders. – Worried Niece

Dear Niece: As with any drugs, the answer is “it depends.” It is not recommended that you mix alcohol and Xanax. By itself, Xanax can cause drowsiness, dizziness and impaired balance. Mixed with alcohol, those effects are exacerbated, and seniors tend to be more sensitive. Your aunt could suffer seizures and blackouts, and there have been reported deaths from this combination. We doubt her doctor would approve, but he may not have been able to convince her to stop drinking. You’re not likely to have any additional influence, so the best you can do is let her know you care and maybe give her a call in the morning to make sure she’s OK.

Dear Annie: Our oldest daughter’s children are 17 and 18. In years past, my daughter told us not to give the children toys or clothes as the other grandparents bought more than enough, so we gave them bonds or cash for birthdays, Christmas and special occasions. We never received an acknowledgement.

Our younger daughter has a teenage son and daughter, and we also send them cash, but when we do, those kids are on the phone within hours, thanking us.

My husband has no problem sending gifts to those grandchildren, but he’s had enough with the others. So, what do we do about our oldest grandson’s upcoming high-school graduation (to which we may not even be invited)? – Disappointed Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: Send a lovely card of congratulations. When your daughter asks why there is no cash, tell her you were under the impression her children didn’t care for your gifts since they never acknowledge them. Of course, this may cause a greater estrangement, so consider yourself warned.