The Slice: Score points with these topics of converstion

The field is about to start shrinking.

But as I write this, 16 women’s college basketball teams have the potential of coming to Spokane soon for NCAA Tournament games. Keep an eye on the sports section for details.

Naturally, you’ll want to have something to say to these young ladies if you encounter them. But what?

As always, The Slice has suggestions – presented team by team. You know, just to get you started.

Maryland: “Have you noticed that on the BBC they pronounce the name of your state Mary-land? Did you watch ‘The Wire’?”

Coppin State: “So do opponents’ unruly fans ever refer to ‘coppin’ a feel?’ Want me to slug ‘em?”

Nebraska: “So how’s that unicameral legislature working out for you?”

Xavier: “Has anyone ever said you guys ought to be known as the Cugats? No? How about the Rumba Queens?”

West Virginia: “Welcome to Spokane. Why doesn’t the crazy outline of your state drive you nuts? It looks like it was drawn up by someone who was drunk. You’ll notice I didn’t say ‘drunken hillbilly.’ We’re sensitive and evolved here in the Northwest.”

New Mexico: “Isn’t that where Billy the Kid got shot? Oh, well. I guess he was a punk who had it coming. Thanks for ‘Ben-Hur’ at least.”

Vanderbilt: “Isn’t that where Walter Matthau’s character in ‘A Face in the Crowd’ went to school?”

Montana: “Go, Griz. You ought to be called the Fightin’ Sows. You can’t beat a mama bear.”

Pittsburgh: “Do they still make Clark Bars? Quick, name the three rivers.”

Wyoming: “Come back, Shane! Just kidding. So are the animals at Yellowstone required to register as Republicans?”

Baylor: “Waco is not really pronounced Whack-o, is it?”

Fresno State: “Did you ever see that TV mini-series starring Dabney Coleman called ‘Fresno’? Before your time, I guess.”

UTEP: “That acronym makes you sound like a medical insurance company. Maybe you should go back to saying ‘Texas Western’.”

Western Kentucky: “Did you know film director John ‘Halloween’ Carpenter went to your school? He was married to Adrienne Barbeau. I don’t think she would have been much of a rebounder.”

Stanford: “Boy, that Leland Stanford wasn’t afraid to use a political office to feather his own nest, was he? But I’m sure all your classmates’ parents came by their money honorably.”

Cleveland State: “Want to hear me sing Randy Newman’s song about your fair city? No? OK. Did you know Cleveland had an NHL team for a couple of seasons in the late ‘70s? We have a street named Cleveland here.”

Or you could just say, “Good luck in your game.”

Whatever works.

“Today’s Slice question: What small town in our area most reminds you of the setting for the 1971 movie “The Last Picture Show”?