Blending children with pets requires special planning

The birth of our child wasn’t exactly good news for everyone in our household. Our three cats – our “babies” long before the actual baby came along – felt put out by this crying little alien, this creature that appeared overnight and usurped them of their royalty role.

During those emotional and sleep-deprived days of early parenthood, we just didn’t have the time or energy for our felines. They also didn’t appreciate the way we constantly shooed them off the couch, the bed and anywhere close to the baby.

In her shock and insecurity, our Siamese began to exhibit signs of “sibling” rivalry. In other words, Sassy began to spray.

Expectant parents go to great lengths to get ready for the birth of a child. But often, the to-do list in many households ends up overlooking other members of the family: the pets.

Just as you would prepare an older sibling for the birth of a baby, so too, should you prepare your pets, said veterinarian Michael Pfarr of Animal Clinic of Spokane.

Families who don’t get their dog or cat ready for a new baby can inadvertently create chaos in their home. While picking up your child’s favorite blanket or stuffed animal, you might discover it reeks of cat pee. Or perhaps suddenly, the dog has started pooping in the baby’s room and other strategic spots inside the house.

Most of these problems – which could have been prevented in the first place – can be resolved over time, but some families also end up getting rid of their animals.

At least 10 percent of the cats and dogs that end up at SpokAnimal C.A.R.E. each year are taken to the shelter because the animals misbehave, their owners don’t have time or they consider them a threat to a pregnant woman or children, according to Krista Colvin, SpokAnimal’s foster care coordinator.

Usually, it’s a cat that has started to spray. Once in a while, it’s a dog that’s been described as “too energetic.” People say the animal is being “too difficult” or that they no longer have the energy or time to care for a pet, according to Colvin.

Some also abandon their cats even before the baby is born because they mistakenly believe that felines can be harmful to pregnant women.

“Some people hear old wives’ tales about cats,” said Colvin. “They get scared and think they can’t have pets because they’re pregnant or that the cat might hurt the baby.”

Although toxoplasmosis – a parasitic disease that can infect cats that eat infected rodents, birds and other animals and can be passed in the cat’s feces – is indeed harmful to expectant mothers and their children, it’s rare with indoor cats and can easily be avoided with cats that go outside, said Pfarr. Pregnant women can wear gloves when they’re changing the litter box, he said, or they can get someone else to do the job.

Generally, pets and children can co-exist, said Pfarr, a veterinarian for more than three decades. In fact, kids not only gain companionship from a dog or a cat, he said; they also learn how to be responsible by caring for a pet.

In our case, we didn’t take the necessary steps to prepare our animals for our baby, and Sassy the Siamese definitely made her unhappiness known.

Although she’s a spayed female, Sassy began to mark her territory by leaving the unmistakable pungent odor of kitty pee throughout the baby’s room – on the dresser, the curtains and even my son’s stuffed toy lamb.

And just in case I hadn’t notice, she decided to spray on the clothes hanging low in my closet as well.

Our problems with Sassy could have been avoided with a little bit of prep work, according to Pfarr.

Whenever clients tell him they’re expecting a baby, the veterinarian advises expectant moms to spend even more time with their animals. “Let the animal smell you and feel the activity in your stomach,” he advised.

Animals are very perceptive creatures, he said, so they often can sense how you feel and know when to give you comfort. Allow them to be part of the pregnancy, he said.

Pfarr also suggests appealing to an animal’s sense of smell before bringing the baby home from the hospital.

“When I introduce a new animal to my house, I take something of the new pet and bring it to the other animals,” he said. “Before bringing the baby, try and get something that’s been on the baby and bring it home to the animal so that they’re already familiar with the baby’s scent.”

Another option, Pfarr said, is to put your own scent on the baby.

“If I’m going to introduce a new cat to my family, I will take off my T-shirt, turn it inside out and rub it all over the animal so that my odor gets on the new animal,” he said. “When you come home, put one of your own shirts with the baby so that the baby smells more like you instead of a foreign object.”

It’s also important to continue spending time with your animals after the baby is born, Pfarr emphasized. With the demands of an infant, families sometimes end up ignoring their animals, he said.

“They were the ‘children’ once, and now they’re on the backburner,” Pfarr said. “They can’t help but think, ‘You used to love me the way you loved that little thing that makes all that noise.’ “

Let your animal smell the baby, he suggested, and encourage them not to feel afraid. If you allow your pet inside your baby’s room, let your cat or dog spend as much time in there as possible so that they get used to the infant’s bassinet or crib and scents such as baby powder and lotion.

If possible, mothers nursing their babies should keep the cat on their lap or the dog close by, Pfarr suggested.

“Make them part of the picture,” he said. “I make my animals part of my family.”

One of Pfarr’s dogs, a golden retriever named Jade, was very jealous of his grandchildren at first. But after allowing her to spend more time with the kids and training her how to behave around babies and little children, “she’s become the best baby-sitter I’ve got,” said Pfarr, who has nine grandkids.

Whenever people bring a dog to SpokAnimal with a complaint that the animal isn’t safe around a newborn or small children, Colvin asks them if they’ve considered taking the dog to obedience school. Often, they say they don’t have the time, she said.

Long before the baby is born, families should train their dogs to walk on a leash next to a stroller, according to several pet owners. They also should practice heeling, sitting still and other commands.

“Don’t wait until you are eight months along before you start working on this stuff,” Steve Haynes, a dog trainer and dad in Texas wrote on his Web site, www.fideliodogs.com. “Dogs need lots of practice and repetition before they master commands, so if you know a little one’s coming make the commitment to get your dog in shape before arrival.”

Some pet owners also suggest exposing your dog to other babies during your pregnancy. Others recommend playing a recording of a crying infant to get the animal used to the sound.

If the appropriate measures aren’t taken, it’s actually quite normal for cats and dogs to act up when they’re neglected after the birth of a child, Pfarr said. Sassy’s behavior when our son was born was the only way she could express her frustration, he said. “Because they don’t talk, it has to be show-and-tell,” Pfarr said.

For families with a cat that has started to spray, Pfarr recommends a product called Feliway, which emits a pheromone that soothes felines under stress. Hormonal therapy and anti-anxiety drugs also can be an option for pets.

Gradually, the animals and children get used to each other – which is what happened at my house. After a rough beginning, all of us – two adults, two little kids and three cats – can now live under the same roof.