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The Slice: They need to toot their own horn a little better

With glowing hearts, they belted out anthems sure to keep the True North strong and free. (The Spokesman-Review)

We never stop hearing about how our society is awash in vulgarity.

It would seem coarseness is popular, if not universally accepted. So why not try to take advantage of that?

Is there some way the people who market Inland Northwest-grown lentils could exploit the sometimes dramatic post-digestive effect this wonder food can have?

You know. Just in time for the holidays.

“Lentils: Do you hear what I hear?”

“Lentils: Morning has broken.”

“Lentils: Housemates we have heard on high.”

ZIP codes with densest concentrations of studded tires: Forrest Schuck of Sandpoint suggested one would be 83864.

A reader named Dawn in Kellogg nominated 83837, 83849 and 83846. “You Spokanees don’t know winter until you come to the Silver Valley,” she added.

Things newcomers say that longtime residents find irritating: “What most annoys me is TV reporters new to the area who insist on saying Washington State instead of just Washington,” wrote Mike McKeehan. “It bugs me that they aren’t smart enough to realize we already know where we are or that they don’t care enough to break themselves of the habit.”

We stand on guard: Thanks to all who called and recorded a version of “O Canada.” All kidding aside, that took courage.

Not everyone got all the words right. And a few singers might have been a tad off key or flat. But all proved themselves to be good sports.

A few vocal highlights struck me as amusing but, overall, the experience of listening to these sincere performances was surprisingly touching.

I’m declaring Victoria Van Inwegen and the Dudenhofer family to be co-winners.

Van Inwegen, a North Sider who can sing, had me ready to watch a hockey game by the time she was done with her stellar rendition of the anthem.

The Dudenhofers in Tum Tum would have made anyone smile with their spirited version. Led by their mom, Kaery, the singers included Hailey, 10, Toby, 8, and Ethan and Annie, both 3.

The home-schooled kids had become familiar with the song not long ago while learning about Canada.

Today’s Spokane sentences: “Sadly Paul often keeps annoying news editors.” — Al Gilson

Perhaps. But I tend to outlast them.

OK, one more. “Some people offer kindness and nothing else.” — Tomas Lynch

Today’s Slice question: What does your range of footwear say about your lifestyle?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. “Good dog” stories start Tuesday.

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