The Slice: Crafty ways to say you are inconsiderate

Not to rush you or anything.

But it’s probably time to get around to writing those thank-you notes for your 2007 Christmas presents.

Better late than never, as they say.

But you don’t want to appear to be simply going through the motions in the hopes of increasing your odds of receiving gifts again this year. That would be rude.

No, you want to be considerate. So you might have to lie.

I mean, do you really want to hurt Aunt Jane’s feelings by writing, “I really couldn’t be bothered to send you a note in a more timely manner. Courtesy just really isn’t my thing. I blame it on the parenting my generation received.”

It would be better to make something up.

You should, of course, do your own work. But just to help you get started, here are a few possible approaches to consider. Think of it as priming the pump.

“Dear Grandma: You remember how, on ‘Gunsmoke’ and ‘The Big Valley,’ characters were always coming down with amnesia? Well, you won’t believe what happened to me.”

“Dear Uncle Don: Because of my hectic schedule of volunteering and a perhaps overzealous devotion to my lay ministry, I have neglected my manners.”

“Dear Dave and Kate: When I was abducted by aliens in Spokane Valley in early January, I made it quite clear to them that I had to finish writing my thank-you notes before they began probing me or whatever. But the cruel buggers just laughed.”

“Dear Cousin Andrea: I write to you today to share my grave concerns about the reliability of the U.S. Postal Service. Information secretly presented to me now suggests that a vast, far-reaching conspiracy may have interfered with the delivery of my thank-you cards last December.”

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hatch: A lot has happened since last Christmas. I was about to jump off a bridge but wound up having to save my guardian angel. In return, he allowed me to see what this town would have been like if I had never been born. Well, one thing led to another and I find myself seriously behind in my correspondence.”

“Dear Roberto: Not having heard back from you after all these months, I am forced to conclude that my seemingly promising experiments in telepathic communication have been a failure.”

“Dear Madison: No one could have been more surprised than I when I awoke recently to discover that I had been asleep for almost 11 months. My word! I guess that West Nile virus really is a nuisance, after all.”

“Dear Aunt May: It is becoming increasingly evident to me that some etiquette-impairing substance is being added to Spokane’s water.”

•Today’s Slice question: What’s the best way to get in touch with your inner Scrooge?