Family issues real for candidates

At the very end of the Democratic convention, Joe Biden’s 92-year-old mother joined everyone on stage. As the Bidens and the Obamas walked one way, Jean Biden seemed stranded alone, uncertain what to do next. She had that slightly irritated look I saw sometimes on the face of my mother-in-law, who lived to 94. The look got everyone’s attention. And indeed, in a split second, Jean Biden was folded back into the family group.

The Democratic convention took place during my family’s week-long reunion, which began with a party at our house with 30 adults and 11 children under 12. We rented a giant bouncy castle and the kids screamed, jumped, tumbled, bumped heads, cried, laughed, jumped some more. It was crazy in there.

I love this presidential race, because all four candidates have complicated family lives that mirror the complexity of modern family life. The presidents of my childhood – Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon – had family complexities, too. But they kept them hidden behind seemingly solid nuclear families – mom, dad, the kids.

In the families of the four 2008 presidential-vice presidential candidates, you’ll find the experiences of almost every family in our culture, including:

Blended families. John McCain has seven children. He and his first wife, Carol, had a daughter together and McCain adopted Carol’s two sons. With second wife, Cindy, McCain has four children, one adopted from Bangladesh. Biden had two sons and a daughter with his first wife, Neilia, who died in a car accident in 1972. With his second wife, Jill, Biden has a daughter. Neither Sarah Palin nor Barack Obama is raising their children in blended families, but Obama has seven half-brothers and half-sisters.

So three of the four candidates have lived this blended reality. The knowledge might come in handy. According to the American Blended Family Association, approximately 2,100 new blended families are formed every day.

Teen moms. When it was revealed that Bristol Palin, 17, is five months pregnant, Barack Obama reminded reporters: “You know my mother had me when she was 18.” According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about one-third of girls in the United States get pregnant before age 20, which translates to 750,000 teen pregnancies a year; 80 percent of these pregnancies are unplanned.

Special needs/ill children. Palin’s youngest, Trig, was born with Down syndrome. Between 5,000 and 6,000 babies are born with it each year in the United States. Biden’s two sons were critically injured in the 1972 car accident. Both eventually recovered. His baby daughter, however, didn’t make it. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that “motor vehicle traffic-related injuries are the leading cause of death among children in the U.S. In 2005, 1,451 children ages 14 years and younger died as occupants in motor vehicle crashes, and approximately 203,000 were injured – an average of 4 deaths and 556 injuries each day.”

Palin and Biden have influence, power and connections, but the advantages likely didn’t exempt them from the 3 a.m. terrors common to parents worried if their critically ill child will make it through the night or worried about the future of their special needs child.

Aging parents. John McCain’s mom, Roberta, is 96 – four years older than Jean Biden. Obama’s maternal grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, helped raise him. She is 85. Palin’s parents are senior citizens. The next administration will grapple with societal challenges around Social Security, long-term care and the skyrocketing number of Alzheimer’s victims. The candidates’ personal experiences with their aging relatives could give them unique insights.

Watching the families of the presidents of my childhood was like looking at live mannequins in store windows. The families of the presidential-vice presidential candidates are more like kids in a bouncy castle. It’s crazy in there, but refreshingly real.