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The Slice: It’s time for apple avoiders to fess up

MONDAY, SEPT. 22, 2008

People don’t talk about it much.

In this part of the country, at this time of year, it’s not the sort of thing some would feel comfortable admitting.

But let’s get this out in the open. There are men and women in our midst who never eat apples. Ever.

If you are one of these people, The Slice would like to hear from you.

I have a question for apple avoiders: Why?

Don’t like the taste? Price? One too many mushy disappointments?

Arachnophobia: “My daughter Aspen wins the prize,” wrote Lori Clark.

Aspen, 29, has been known to drop the phone and scream, leaving her mother to fear that an intruder just broke into her daughter’s home.

“But when I hear ‘hai-ya’ (and I imagine a karate chop) I realize she is having to take care of the dreaded task of spider killing.”

Jerry Hargitt described his 17-year-old granddaughter Melanie as being hysterically afraid of spiders. “When you hear her scream, you know what just happened,” he wrote. “She saw a spider. Doesn’t matter if it’s dead or alive.”

And Kelly Knapp shared this:

“I didn’t think I was that afraid of spiders. But two nights ago I went into my 12-year-old son’s room to say ‘lights out,’ and I screamed when I saw a huge spider sitting on his bed. Needless to say I wound up with two kids and a cat sleeping with me that night.”

See if you can figure out the lesson here: A friend reported this on his Spokane blog. He said it was OK if I recycled the story.

Just recently, one of his neighbors had a motorcycle for sale. A man and his son stopped by to check it out. The dad decided to take a test ride. The seller offered the use of his helmet. The dad declined, saying he was just going to the corner and back.

So that guy rode the motorcycle for a minute and returned. Then his son, who looked to be in his 20s, wanted to take it for a spin. The seller repeated his helmet offer. Again, he was turned down.

Well, you guessed it. The son crashed and apparently hit his head. My friend knows about it because his wife, an off-duty ER nurse, tended to the unconscious, bleeding man until an ambulance arrived.

Among the things you learn when you find old, crumpled-up S-R pages used as insulation and stuffed in nooks and crannies in your basement: Spokane school PTAs used to stage minstrel shows.

Today’s Slice question: How much time do you spend trying to think like a burglar?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail Hank Greer figures his added-up bicycle commuting mileage so far this year is the equivalent of a ride to Orlando, Fla.

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