This pains me.
As regular readers know, I do not approve of made-up words (“incentavize” and “repurpose” particularly rankle).
Now I am made to introduce you to the dreadful “glamping.”
My deepest apologies.
Glamping’s not an entirely bad idea, but I’m not sure why it requires abuse to the perfectly serviceable English language.
My mother would be horrified.
Lakedale Resort on San Juan Island defines it as “couture camping,” a contraction of glamorous and camping.
There’s more. This activity takes place in one of 13 “glampsites.”
I don’t feel so good.
Each glampsite features a 225-square-foot canvas cabin.
My husband owns one of these. It is filthy. Word inventors might call what he does “gromping,” the short form of gross and camping.
The Lakedale version also features a queen bed with pillow-top bedding, a full-size sleeper sofa or two lounge chairs, a table with four chairs, bath linens and other luxuries.
It gets a little rugged outside, with Adirondack chairs, a picnic table and fire ring – all intended to let you “enjoy the great outdoors without giving up the comforts of home.”
Interested? There’s no time to lose. The glamping season starts Friday and runs through Sept. 30. Rates start at $149 a night.
You’ll need gear, of course, and Lakedale’s got you covered.
The resort will outfit you with your very own “glamping survival kit.” Therein, you’ll find “a collection of outdoor necessities for the glamorous camper.”
They provide no explication, so we are left to hypothesize what these necessities might be. Feather boas? Beluga caviar? Servants?
Now if you’re some sort of danger junkie, Lakedale provides regular old campsites, log cabins and “cozy” guestrooms.
Once you’re glamorously ensconced in your canvas palace, the resort staff will provide happy hour for $70. It comes complete with folding pilsner or wine “glasses,” a 10-ounce unbreakable hip flask, and a bottle of Happy Camper wine with corkscrew.
“Rekindle” puts you out in the elements with a fire starter basket, firewood, “gourmet” s’mores fixings, sparkling wine and the like. That’s $70, too.
I don’t know what they think you’ll do with a spatula. But the $100 “Epicurean” package loads you up with strainer-integrated pot lids, waterproof salt and pepper shakers, a welded sink that “doubles as a stuff sack” (huh?), collapsible spoon and spatula, and other culinary tools and cookware.
Finally, we come to “Picnic Party Pack.” The relative $65 bargain equips you with a table setting for four, firewood and fire starter, a bag of ice, a Lakedale Frisbee and one hour of rowboat rental.
Find more information at lakedale.com or (800) 617-2267.
You’re probably up on the pinot noir deal, the hazelnuts, and all that McMenamins stuff.
But did you know Oregon stands among the movie industry’s luminaries?
As the location for such films as “The Goonies,” “Kindergarten Cop” and “Free Willy,” Astoria plans to build an Oregon Film Museum in the city’s jail.
Don’t ask me.
Non-Astoria movies also shot in Oregon, like “Animal House” and “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” will also get their due.
The Clatsop County Historical Society hopes to open the museum’s doors in June 2010.
The Warrenton and Astoria Area Chamber of Commerce can keep you up to date on their progress. Try www.oldoregon.com or (800) 875-6807.
•Ski to Sea Festival, May 7-24, Bellingham. They’re promising entertainment and adventure for all in the form of an 85-mile relay race with seven venues, an historical hometown parade, and more. (www.skitosea.com/ 360-734-1330)
•Olympia Wooden Boat Fair, May 9-10, Olympia. Here’s your chance to exchange ideas about wooden boat construction and eat funnel cakes. There’s a big bunch more, including the boats themselves. (www.olywoodenboat.org/ 877-704-7500)
•Apple Blossom Festival, May 11-17, Boise. Move over, Washington – you’re not the only apple lover. The Idaho version will crown its queen, then treat you to fireworks, the ice cream social, rodeo fun, a carnival and more. (boise.org/800-635-5240)