Annie’s Mailbox: Forgive roomies’ seeming slight
Dear Annie: I am going to be a junior in college next year. I’ll be sharing an apartment with three of my closest friends. One, “Susan,” lives only 20 minutes away, and we make sure to spend time with each other over the summer vacation. I also have invited her to parties and other events that involve my hometown friends.
Recently, another one of my roommates, “Jessica,” came in from Florida to visit Susan for the weekend. At no point during this time did either of these future roommates contact me to ask if I’d like to hang with them. I only found out about Jessica’s visit through her Facebook photos.
I am very hurt and wonder if they excluded me on purpose. I don’t know what to do. I was really excited about living with them in September, but now I have lingering hard feelings. Should I bring it up or pretend I didn’t notice? – Confused Roomie
Dear Confused: It’s possible the weekend schedule was so rushed that there wasn’t time to include anyone else. You can tell Jessica you were sorry you missed her when she was in town, but if you like these girls and wish to be roommates with them in the fall, you will need to forgive this slight. Keep in mind that living together will provide an opportunity for all of you to get to know each other better and solidify your friendships. It will serve no purpose to hang on to hurt feelings.
Dear Annie: My husband displayed the same lack of feeling expressed by “Emotional Roommate.” Even his doctor advised treatment for depression, but he didn’t care enough to pursue it.
I pressured him to have his testosterone level checked at his next physical. It was considered on the low side of “normal,” but eventually, after repeated testing, his doctor prescribed testosterone injections.
It took several months, but my husband’s attitude, energy and interest returned. He is happier and acknowledges that he can now, in retrospect, see how different he had become. “Roommate” should have her husband’s testosterone level checked. – A Friend