August 18, 2009 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Time to break up then take a break

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar
 

Dear Annie: I am a college student and have been dating a nice guy for almost a year. Unfortunately, “Cody” is more into our relationship than I am. I have my reasons (Cody made some major mistakes that my heart has looked past, but my head has not), but what makes matters worse is I am deeply “in like” with a friend of Cody’s.

I’ve been in relationships since I was 15. I think it might be best, if and when I break things off with Cody, that I remain single for a while. On the other hand, I am deeply worried that if I wait, I will miss out on this wonderful man. – Bummed in Boston

Dear Bummed: You have multiple things going on. First, you need to break off the relationship with Cody. You don’t love him, you are unable to forgive him for whatever it was he did in the past, and you are interested in someone else. Then you need to give your social life a rest, not only to see what it’s like to be on your own, but because it’s very bad form to go after Cody’s friend so quickly.

Dear Annie: My daughter was infected with herpes by her boyfriend. They have since broken up. Her doctor said it most likely was transmitted via oral sex.

She is still in the initial stages of coping emotionally, and I am doing my best to help her believe that in time things will not seem so terrible. I know she is afraid of the day when she has to tell a new boyfriend.

Would you please ask your readers who have found themselves in the same situation to share their experiences? Nothing I can tell her would have as much impact as hearing from people who have been there. – A Sad Mom

Dear Mom: Approximately one in five adults in the U.S. has herpes, so your daughter has plenty of company, and we are certain our readers will weigh in with their experiences. In the meantime, contact the American Social Health Association at (800) 227-8922 or www.ashastd.org for information, support and suggestions on dealing with herpes – including how to talk about it with a new romantic interest.


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