Good hostess is thorough

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I hosted a barbecue, to which we sent an open invitation to anyone who would like to attend. We posted the information several times around the Internet, with the note to e-mail me with the RSVP.

I went through a great deal of trouble to ensure there would be ample food available for all tastes and dietary/religious/ personal ethics restrictions.

Let me tell you, we certainly did draw a crowd. We were even kind to our neighbors by having an after-party pre-arranged at a tavern to grant them their peace in the evening. We also cleaned up, leaving no trace of our guests’ presence.

My husband and I run a popular entertainment business and have hundreds of thousands of online “friends.” Because of this, we purposely did not post our home address publicly, but rather asked guests to request it if they did not already know, to curtail possible identity theft.

A couple of people who we casually know were miffed we did not contact them and invite them personally. To be honest, I am not sure we even have the phone numbers or e-mail addresses of these people, who complained through a third party.

If I made a bad judgment, how should I have handled this?

GENTLE READER: Did the dangerous concept of the open invitation attract undesirables? Did your efforts to meet everyone’s food requirements miss someone who had an allergic attack? Did the neighbors make a fuss in spite of your precautions? Was your address posted by guests and your identity stolen?

None of the above. Whew. It is only that people you don’t even know well enough to know how to contact are grousing that they were not invited. Aren’t you glad they weren’t?