Henry “Digger” Johnston has grown up a bit since he was that crusading teen who successfully fought to reinstate the Pledge of Allegiance at Sandpoint High a few years back. He’s been a funeral home assistant – hence, the nickname “Digger” – and now manages a store in Moscow. As a twentysomething manager, he has noticed something disconcerting in this time of high unemployment – few job applicants know how to compile a resume. In his column in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News last week, Henry tells of receiving dozens of application packets for a job opening, most of which weren’t directed to his store or him. “You’d think,” sez Henry, “that if you receive a business card with the manager’s name you’d at least take the time to transcribe it accurately on your cover letter when you return.” You’d think. But you’d be wrong. More Henry: “I can be a little bit forgiving when applicants don’t take the time to print their applications on decent quality paper. It is the content, after all, that is important. But I’m not so forgiving when spelling and grammar errors stand out like a turgid zit.” Turgid zit? Yech. One applicant listed his job goal as “I seek to gain a position to gain a position within the company.” That isn’t a typo. Adding insult to injury, the application was addressed “To Whom It May Concern.” Next!
Idaho culture, sorta
It’d be hard to explain Idaho culture in 50 words or so to a foreigner. But the media guide for the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Boise summed up Spud State culture in two paragraphs: “The United States Constitution allows every citizen the right to own firearms. Hunting and shooting sports are a proud tradition in Idaho. There is a chance that you will see a person with a firearm, or see a firearm in a truck window, particularly in the small towns. This is legal and poses no danger to you. Do not be alarmed.” And: “Most Idahoans own dogs and you will see dogs in public places. You are welcome to pet the dog with the owner’s permission. It is also common to see dogs in the back of parked pickup trucks. However, these dogs are often protective and should not be approached.” Opinionator Kevin Richert/Idaho Statesman shorthanded those observations this way: “A rifle in a gun rack – no worries; a dog in the bed of a pickup – beware.” Again, Kevin: “I guess, when the truck has a gun rack and a dog in the back, signals are mixed. Use your best discretion.”
Poet’s Corner: “There once was a swimmer so strong/He won 8 golds in races short and long/came back to the states/made a few mistakes/Latest getting caught sucking a bong” – TUBOB (“On Being Michael Phelps”) … And: “There once was a risk to human health/That now is known to be Michael Phelps/No longer alone/With sins to atone/Is Kellogg’s own precious Keebler elf”‘ – John Austin … Bumpersnicker: “Praise the power of love, not the love of power” … Quotable Quote: “O, honey. If I had a nickle every time I wanted to toss my delinquent son into jail, I would be rich” – Berry Picker JeanieSpokane re: Scanner Traffic on Huckleberries Online in which a Hayden woman wanted to file charges against her teen son for stealing a credit card from her purse … Quotable Quote 2: “Chief Justice John Roberts is scheduled to visit the University of Idaho for the Bellwood Lecture Series in March. I rarely agree with the man’s decisions, but how cool would it be to listen to a speech given by the only Supreme Court justice who has sworn in a president who voted against that justice’s nomination? Watching his fake hair never move in person is just a sweet bonus prize” – Editor Christina Lords, UI Argonaut.
In case you don’t know what it means when Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, County Clerk Dan English (aka Dan of the County) will tell you: “As the only county in Idaho that sells marriage licenses on Saturdays (11 a.m. to 4 p.m.), we’ll be very busy that day. So get your reservation in early, especially if you would like me to sign yours in person.” Adds Dan: “Support the county economy – buy a marriage license!” Do you suppose Dan’s licenses include a soul mate, for those who visit his office without one?