The Slice: If third winter’s the charm, just how harsh will it be?

After the snowy winter of 2007/08, a lot of people around here assumed we were in for a cakewalk this time around.

You know, what were the chances we would have two rough winters in a row?

Well, I don’t want to rush to judgment. But it would appear that those forecasts were wrong.

So, OK. That’s in the past. Let’s look ahead.

Which brings us to …

•Today’s Slice question: What’s your prediction for what the winter of 2009/10 will be like?

A) We’ll have a brownish-gray Christmas. B) There will be locusts. C) Local chefs will create intriguing new dishes incorporating bermicelli. D) Spokane area stores will triple-stock snowblowers and shovels, and then be stuck with warehouses full of excess inventory when the season proves to be mild and dry.

E) Wailing and gnashing of teeth. F) Even though there’s no snow or ice, many local schools will be closed as a precaution for six weeks. G) Whatever happens, writers of letters to the editor will demonstrate once again that they can’t distinguish between “climate” and “weather.” H) Breaking news: TV news crews will, at some point, wet themselves.

I) Oblivious to the weather, someone in your family will mention that the pill drawer is out of control. J) Some snowplows will be fitted with defensive machine-gun turrets. K) When it starts snowing really hard on Halloween, people will get very, very quiet. L) Co-workers at a downtown office will come to blows after one mentions his roof 47 times in one morning.

M) Mild weather will prompt certain governmental officials to say, “See? I told you so.” N) It will snow for 40 days and 40 nights. O) It will get so cold that teenagers will switch from shorts to actual pants. P) It will snow so much that some flakes will be exactly alike.

Q) Transplanted Montanans will make knowing eye contact when the whining about a blizzard gets particularly high-pitched. R) A glacier will begin forming in Manito Park. S) People will say it’s not as bad as last year. T) At least those TV conversion announcements will have stopped.

U) Hat hair will be discussed. V) A wood-burning ban will be ignored. W) Sick of listening to complaining about winter, someone will note that the Inland Northwest lifestyle contract calls for four seasons, not three. X) People will begin referring to the nook by their back door as the “chain-up area.”

Y) Panhandle residents, accustomed to being characterized as backwoods knuckledraggers by those urbane sophisticates west of the state line, will once again note that most of the snow rage and related insanity seems to be happening in Washington, not Idaho. Z) Pedestrians who have no choice but to walk in the street will be yelled at and flipped off by motorists.