Doug Clark: It doesn’t get much better than straight talk and maple bars

When it comes to communicating, a doughnut shop still beats an Internet chat room.

You get to look the crackpots you’re arguing with in the eyes.

And, well, there are doughnuts.

I made this mental observation shortly after walking into Spokane’s aroma-rich Donut Parade on North Hamilton Street. I parked my load at a table just in time for a Wednesday afternoon bull session with a bunch of older guys who call themselves the Metallic Age Group.

Why do they call it that?

“Because we have silver in our hair, gold in our teeth and lead in our butts,” said Terry Brown, the group’s 74-year-old unofficial ringleader.

Brown is a former chancellor for the Community Colleges of Spokane. He was responsible for my visit to this landmark of doughy-and-glazed goodness.

Brown called the other day to see if I would use the force of my column to help with a worthy cause.

I was a bit hesitant, naturally. Hardly a week goes by that I don’t get squeezed to support some thing or another.

Not to sound uppity, but a guy like me must be choosy. Only get behind issues of vital import and interest – that’s my motto.

So Brown told me what he was angling for. Business had been faltering at the Donut Parade. The educator was worried that the enterprise would fail and that his cronies might be forced to look for a new place to jawbone.

Someone needs to remind the public that the Donut Parade is still open, he said.

“What time should I be there?” I asked, beginning to salivate as visions of fresh maple bars danced through my head.

The Donut Parade is one of those wonderful throwback institutions that I hope will never change.

Chrome stools line the counter. Snapshots of customers are stuck helter-skelter. The padded booths sport vintage vinyl …

And the doughnuts?

Still the best around – period!

Oh, if these paneled walls could talk. This joint has been the scene of decades of opinions and observations over things far and away and close to home. Political candidates have been talked up and trashed down inside the Donut Parade.

As it has been on a lot of area businesses, this winter has been brutal on the Donut Parade.

The heaviest snows forced a two-week closure. Darrell Jones, 80-year-old owner and doughnut master, took ill. He was hospitalized with an infection and is now home recuperating.

For a time the establishment’s hours were trimmed. But the routine is back to normal.

These days the doughnuts and maple bars are being made by Christian Reno, a longtime employee, who arrives every morning at 3:45 to begin the process.

Her husband, Roy, tags along to perform chores and make repairs.

I had a couple of motives for showing up. True, I love the Donut Parade. But I was also curious about Brown and his buddies.

This is a prestigious ensemble. Brown, who said he’d been coming to the Donut Parade three times a week for the past seven years, made the introductions:

Dale Darrow, 83, a former engineer; Dave Zacher, 52, a maintenance worker; Arnold McMullen, 90, Spokane’s former chief mechanical inspector; Bob Zacher, 87, a former banker; and Lloyd Stannard, 96, former president of Spokane Community College.

“There’s a little scoundrel in all of us,” Brown said with a wink.

The Spokane snowplow debacle. Stem cell research. Police beefs. The collapsing economy …

Nothing is off topic for the Metallic Age Group. And the issues are as fresh as the morning’s headlines.

Darrow nudged my arm.

“What do you think of the city’s pothole effort?” he asked.

I told him it looked like Spokane was manufacturing more potholes than ever. “So I think we’re exceeding all expectations.”

That drew a big laugh. Yep. I’d take a doughnut shop over a chat room any day.