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The Slice: Sorry, but water can’t fix the 401k

Fri., July 10, 2009

When much of the big stuff in life seems to be out of your control, it’s nice to a have a dry patch in the lawn.

It can be the perfect distraction.

You can size up the straw-colored grass and quietly declare, “This, I can do something about.”

And you can. Assuming the missed-by-sprinklers area isn’t a total goner, a daily application of water can usually revive it. This is especially true if you are obsessively faithful about your targeted watering campaign.

Even for those who don’t really measure their self-worth in terms of landscaping, there can be something oddly satisfying about watching the dry patch slowly turn green.

Hey, it’s a small triumph. But at least it’s a win.

Sure, certain members of your family might start to wonder if you have lost it. Why, they might ask, were you out in the yard yelling, “It’s aliiiiive!”

Because, you might mutter, watering that dry patch works better than fretting about the retirement account.

Maybe he multiplied the fishes and the pizzas: Tina Matney was tucking her 3-year-old grandson into bed when she leaned down and listed some of those who love him.

But little Oliver misunderstood one of the names. So he sat up and excitedly asked his grandmother if they would be going to eat at Chucky Jesus the next day.

Things people miss when they move away: “My friends, Tony and Kathy Trovato, lived in Spokane for 10 years,” wrote Lynn Edwards. “They moved to Nashville, Tenn., in 2005.”

They miss three things.

1. Not having to worry about tornadoes. 2. The relative lack of humidity. 3. The relative lack of bugs.

Today’s Slice question: How many people watch the Tour de France on TV mostly for the castles, churches and countryside?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail For previous Slice columns, see columnists. Please peddle your tiresome political rants elsewhere.

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