June 29, 2009 in Features

Parents blog: Boys and agression

 

The other day, while playing in the yard, my 5-year-old son took a tent stake and started punching holes into a cardboard box. He wasn’t hurting his little sister or property, So I just allowed him to continue pounding away. Still, the action seemed very aggressive to me and I wondered if I did the right thing.

When he pretend plays, swords and other weapons are always involved. There’s war and violence.

I found an article on boys’ aggression that included this quote from Dr. Joseph Tobin, professor of early childhood education at Arizona State University:

“Calling boys ‘aggressive’ is an attempt to punitively try and control behavior we are not comfortable with. Children use their bodies and express their feelings by pushing, grabbing, and fighting … the problem isn’t that boys have these impulses and interests; the problem is that we overreact.”

I’m probably overreacting. But I want my son to be a peace-loving, kind and respectful human being so his actions are sometimes really offensive to me.

What are your thoughts on boys and aggression? I’m especially curious about your perspective on pretend play and where you draw the line when it comes to games that involve war, death and violence.

– Posted by Virginia de Leon

Join the conversation at www.spokesman.com/blogs/parents.

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One comment on this story so far. Add yours!

  • grineaus on June 29 at 8:28 p.m.

    My son was at a neighbors house the other night and a couple of the other kids there held him down and duct taped his mouth shut and taped his hands together! If one the parents hadn’t come downstairs what else would have happened. I wasn’t told of this until later that evening by my son. I called the parents house that it happened at and was told that they were playing it was a game! These are nine and ten year old boys. My son said he didn’t ask to have this done and despite what the mother said my son said he was not laughing! I would not consider this to be normal play among boys. Am I wrong? I am fully aware of boys playing with guns, pretending to play with swords, playing war and cops and robbers but…

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