May 10, 2009 in Idaho Voices

Parking has its own set of perils

D.F. Oliveria
 

You may have heard about that recent “Fried Green Tomatoes” episode in the KMC hospital parking lot – you know the one in which a couple of drivers locked bumpers in a tiff over a handicap parking spot. But did you know that former Hauser Lake councilwoman D.J. Nall/Hauser Thoughts had a similar experience? In the same parking lot? Seems D.J. accidentally triggered another driver’s antipathy by pulling into a spot she wanted. D.J. tried to apologize as the other driver turned the air blue. She even offered to move her car. Not good enough. The Road Rager sped off to find another spot, still fuming. And D.J. sped off on foot to the hospital, scared to death that the hothead would get into the elevator with her. “Some people are just way too sensitive about parking spaces,” sums up D.J. “But then, maybe she was headed for the psychiatric ward.” Tawanda lives. So be careful out there.

60 ain’t old

John Austin penned the following poem to help Berry Picker JeanieS cope with her recent 60th birthday: “The pyramids in their well-worn track/Have timeless stood so free./And to virgin stands of tamarack/Sixty’s young if you’re a tree. … The redwood forest ages hence/Will soar so breathlessly./One thousand years have spoken since:/Six decades’ short to me. … The Rocky Mountains reach the sky/Their endless splendor sweeps./How ever firs and pines grow high/Three score to them is brief. … The oceans run so true and deep/Still steeped of life it’s sung./But alpine spruce show the belief:/Six decades is quite young. … In final essence all this means/Our trees are ageless, see?/So forgive me as I spill the beans:/Too bad you aren’t a tree!” I’ll have a better idea re: how well I like the poem when I hit 60 on Nov. 20.

Huckleberries

In a recent Huckleberries Online poll, respondents were split on the use of torture by American interrogators, with half opposed (80 of 161, including 54 who thought anyone involved should be prosecuted) and 46 percent in favor (74 of 161, including 44 who believe it should only be used in rare instances) … By the way, 61 percent (72 of 118) give Superintendent Hazel Bauman As and Bs for her job performance, in another poll … In the Cops Gone Wild category: At 10:06 a.m. May Day, a disembodied voice on the police scanner announced: “You might want to be careful over here – the police guys are spraying pepper spray at each other” … A new Berry Picker who claims to work for Avista and goes by the name Dog Jerky stirred things up at Huckleberries Online when he defended the utility company recently, stating: “I also wonder how many people out there complain about their bills but they smoke or drink or eat out at restaurants 5 days a week or buy that $5 coffee at the coffee stand. We all have priorities but life would really suck without electricity. I’ll give up drinking beer before I let my Kootenai Electric bill slip” … Quotable Quote: “To be honest with you, we live in a university town and most people give it away for free. There isn’t a market.” – Pullman Police Commander Chris Tennant re: Lewiston Tribune story re: possible prostitution being advertised on Craigslist on the Palouse … Yeah, my wife got the number of that black SUV that blew a stop sign and almost ran her over while she was bicycling near CdA school district HQ on a recent weekday morning – and saw the whites of the eyes of the school official behind the wheel. But we’re talking. Yet.

Parting shot

Rick Cooper/Coronado Classics is back this week with another observation re: life in Lake City and on the waterfront. This week, Coop offers evidence that size, indeed, matters. But it’s not what you think. Coop, who lives on the lakeshore when he’s not snowboarding, watching hundreds of boats cruise by every weekend. His observation? The smaller the boat, the more people will be in it, having fun. Coop: “Small boats usually are loaded to the max, have inner tubes towing behind and wake boards hanging out the boat. Often, much laughter comes from those boats.” Conversely, a large yacht means fewer people and little to no gaiety. Back to Coop: “A large yacht will go by, the man up on top driving and the wife on the deck below, reading a book. They aren’t even talking to each other.” Conclusion: The smaller the boat, the more fun is being had. Mebbe the guys in the big boats can hire the guys in the small boats to come aboard and have fun for them. Just to liven things up.


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