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Annie’s Mailbox: Tell close friends of gift preference

Dear Annie: My fiance and I are getting married in June. We are in our 40s, and it’s not the first wedding for either of us. I am laid off from my job, and my fiance’s hours were drastically cut. We are trying hard to save for a modest wedding, and as long as we stay on track, we should make it. But here is my dilemma.

I’m not sure what to do when it comes to wedding gifts. We certainly don’t need any blenders or china, but we don’t want to be greedy by asking for monetary gifts that we could surely use.

Should we state on the invitation that gifts are optional or just leave it alone and see what happens? What is the proper etiquette for gifts at a second wedding? – Confused Bride in Indiana

Dear Indiana: The etiquette is the same for all weddings – it is improper to mention gifts on the invitation. The best you can do is tell a few close friends and relatives of your preferences and let them spread the word to anyone who asks.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Confused and Annoyed Teen,” who thinks her parents don’t remember being young. My teenage daughter has many of the same complaints. But parents need to be extra vigilant nowadays. Many of the mistakes teens make today are recorded and can be accessed by hundreds, if not thousands of people.

Employers and college admissions officers use the Internet when gathering information on applicants. If someone’s name is associated with a compromising picture, it could ruin their chances of landing the job or getting into the college of their choice.

Teenagers are generally funny, intelligent and capable, but they sometimes lack the judgment to see the big picture. It is our job as parents to guide them, allowing them to make some mistakes, and to step in when those mistakes have the potential to severely damage their future. – Mom of a Teen

Dear Mom: You are absolutely right. Kids really need to be careful in this digital world, or it could haunt them forever.

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