The Slice: Luckily, he rarely needs a napkin

Steve Victor can’t bring himself to toss the sweet notes and drawings his wife, Ellen, puts in his lunch.

So now he has hundreds of them stored in plastic bags.

If Spokane were a brand of beer, its slogan might be … : “You’ll foam at the mouth!” — Bill Mahaney

“Just suck it up, pal. This too shall pass.” — Kathleen Thom

“The ’Can in a bottle.” — Joe Booth

Asked and answered: 1. “Does it bother anyone else when newscasters, reporters or commentators say Real-a-tor instead of Real-tor?” wondered Carol Absalonson.

Yes, Carol, it does. But not as much as when they act like summer ending is an unspeakable horror. Lots of their viewers like fall just fine.

2. “Why are mattresses always on sale?” asked Irene Silverman.

It’s because the people who sell them know that if we don’t think we are getting a good deal many of us will continue sleeping on the burrowed-out, back-spasm troughs we have right now.

Slice answers: “A double wedding just seems like a bad idea,” wrote Jay Griffiths of Spokane. “Too many conflicting ideas, expectations, and dreams.”

But Griffiths noted that, considering the divorce rate, a case could be made that single weddings might not be such a hot idea either.

Several readers said that while they certainly understood the key points of the transaction, they read virtually none of their mortgage paperwork as they signed form after form.

And in the matter of what the size of your TV says about you, Tim Finneran wrote, “Everyone knows that size doesn’t matter. It’s what you’re watching that counts.”

Today’s Slice question: If you buy Halloween candy today, what will happen to it?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. One more month before we set the clocks back.

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