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Doug Clark: City Hall at its best at high noon
Hide the children. Lock up the womenfolk. There’s gonna be a shootout at the Spo-K Corral.
City Council Chambers, that is.
The news broke the other day and I’m still grinning.
There’s one thing about Spokane government you can count on: It’s always good for a laugh.
In this episode, vacationing council President Joe Shogan was more irritated than a saddle tramp with saddle sores at four council members: Al French, Steve Corker, Mike Allen and Nancy McLaughlin.
In our news story, Shogan vowed he would soon return “and to quote Wyatt Earp, ‘I’m bringing hell.’ ”
Weird. I would have pegged Shogan as more of an “Ah’ll be baaack” Terminator kind of guy.
But who knows? Maybe Shogan will show up at the council meeting wearing a black Stetson hat and boots. If he adds a pair of chaps I do hope someone reminds him that he still has to wear pants.
Talk about a breech of protocol.
But as I was saying, Shogan claims the aforementioned bandits back-stabbed him while he was taking a time out in New England.
He labeled these varmints the “gang of four.”
Too bad Councilman Bob Apple wasn’t part of it. Then they’d be “The Apple Bumpkin Gang.”
Anyway, Shogan accused the four of using his absence to discuss changes in procedural rules such as the way the council president runs the meetings and other stuff dull enough to sedate a wildebeest.
Funny. I keep running into people who tell me they don’t like Shogan.
He’s thin-skinned, they say. And judgmental. And impatient.
To which I reply …
“Yeah, so what’s your point?”
We need to look at the good Shogan has done. By going cowboy Joe Shogan has single-handedly given us all a reason to finally attend Spokane City Council meetings.
I watched one of the meetings the other night on TV. Grazing sheep display more passion.
Some Western theatrics would crank up the entertainment value. Like one of those phony saloon brawls that they always did in old John Wayne movies.
Scene: Shogan pushes Corker into a table that flies apart into a dozen pieces. French busts a whiskey bottle over Shogan’s head. Allen tickles the ivories while McLaughlin performs the can-can in a scarlet petticoat …
Now that’s government in action.
Shogan may be shrewder than we think in channeling Wyatt Earp.
As I recall from my Western lore, the Earp siblings ran gambling dens and brothels. Which would be a terrific stimulus package to get the Ridpath Hotel going again.
Shogan isn’t the first city leader to go gunslinger.
Back when he was on the council, Steve Eugster routinely plugged all his colleagues in the back.
Come to think about it, the Spokane City Council has always been like a horse opera. Yep. Every time these buckaroos meet, there’s sure to be piles and piles of …