Annie’s Mailbox: Handyman hubby needs backbone

Dear Annie: My husband seems to be the “go to” guy in his family. He used to do carpentry work, and now his three siblings call on him for all their repair needs. He is asked to fix broken windows, install appliances and everything in between.

One of his sisters is quite wealthy. She lives out of state but owns property in our area. My husband keeps her apartments rented, hires painters, answers maintenance calls at any hour and does general upkeep. For these services, he receives nothing. Not one of his siblings has ever offered to pay him for work that, over the years, has saved them thousands of dollars. At the very least, wouldn’t most people send a gift card for a free dinner?

I know my husband is at fault for never saying no, but his family is so domineering that he doesn’t want to make waves. Our home needs work, too, but his time is taken away due to his siblings’ demands. What makes people feel they are entitled to these services for free? All of them can afford to pay someone else to do the work. We are the ones who are not well off, yet we are catering to them, and they have yet to reciprocate with kindness or time for our family. The favors are totally one-sided. How can I help my husband get out of this mess? – Seething

Dear Seething: Your husband must be willing to do this on his own. The easiest way is to make himself too busy to be so accommodating. That can mean joining a bowling league, basketball team, civic organization or church volunteer group, or even starting a small business as a part-time handyman. Then, when the relatives call, he can honestly say, “Sorry, but I’m too busy now. You should hire someone.” Of course, if he refuses to do this, you’ll have to make the best of it. He has to grow his own backbone.