April 1, 2010 in Features

The Slice: One gesundheit just won’t cut it

By The Spokesman-Review
 
File photo

Grab your headgear and singlet … it’s time to party.
(Full-size photo)

OK, where were we.

Oh, yeah. Talking about sneezing.

“My father is absolutely the loudest and most consistent sneezer I have ever known,” wrote Dr. Paula Lantsberger. “He has a series of 20 explosions like clockwork every morning.”

When you hear it, you know it’s him.

Not long ago, Lantsberger’s mother sank into a comatose state. She would not recover.

“She gave a flicker of recognition with her eyes when my father entered the hospital room to give his ritual morning sneezes on her last day. Even in a deep coma, she recognized that sound after 58 years of hearing those sneezes every single day.”

You always forget something: A few years ago, Sandpoint’s Lea Sammons was running errands with her elderly father when she stopped at a grocery store. Her dad decided to wait in the car.

But it got hot in the vehicle, so he stepped out and went to sit in the shade.

When Sammons emerged from the store, she got in the car and promptly drove away. After getting home, she received a phone call from her left-behind father.

“The poor guy saw me driving off but couldn’t move fast enough to get my attention.”

The movie came out 25 years ago: “I’m wondering why there is no ‘Vision Quest’ festival in this community,” wrote Jeff Dreewes.

Slice answer: Laura Yoshihara figures nobody wears a necktie more than her husband, Steve. That’s counting Sundays and factoring in that the longtime Spokane banker doesn’t observe Casual Friday. “About the only time he’s tie-less is when he’s doing yard work or in bed.”

In the matter of what members of the Lewis and Clark party might have said: “Don’t make me stop this canoe and come back there!” — Ray Dickelman.

Today’s Slice question: When selling or buying a house, what’s the etiquette re: discussing the presence of deceased pets buried in the backyard?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. Watch out for April Fools’ humor stylings.


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