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The Slice: More walk than talk?

The Slice has a theory that a certain church’s missionary outreach effort is really an exercise program for clean-cut young men of that faith.

I always see those tie-wearing guys out walking, but never actually talking to anyone.

But I could be mistaken.

Slice quiz: I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to at least one reader who correctly recalls when an arguably offensive sports-team nickname was replaced at a local school.

Slice answer: After Colbert’s Pat Williams moved her elderly mother out here from the South, here’s what the older woman had to say about local churchgoers: “They are nice people but they come to church dressed like they just came out of the garden.”

Sneezers, continued: Not all are loud and violent, of course. One of Peggy Coffey’s students said the teacher’s sneezes made her sound like a hamster.

Second opinion: Preparing for a colonoscopy might not be fun. But you could argue that it’s preferable to undetected cancer.

Overheard at a big volleyball tournament here: A visitor who might have been from the Southwest was talking about how he expected Spokane to be more verdant. He said, “I mean, I didn’t think it would be like Scotland, but I thought it would be greener than this.” – Dave Meany

Five things some people believe that are actually wrong: 1. The name of this newspaper comes from the fact the founders were really into bicycles.

2. Dog breeding can be defended.

3. The Silver Age Green Lantern’s love interest, Carol Ferris, was a member of a prominent Spokane family.

4. Diane Lane will be the best-looking performer in the upcoming movie about Secretariat.

5. In 2010, no sports fans notice the racial makeup of teams.

Today’s Slice question: What is wrong with people who spit on sidewalks?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. The Slice hereby declares today to be Gardner Family Day in Spokane.

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