The Slice: This is the short and the long of it

Today might or might not be William Shakespeare’s birthday.

But one thing is certain. Adapting some of his famous lines for everyday use in Spokane would get on people’s nerves.

Still, the column’s the thing. So here’s a quick usage guide.

1. “Your pit bull hath a lean and hungry look.”

2. “Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by relentless whining.”

3. “All things are ready for the yard sale, if our minds be so.”

4. “And anglers in Idaho now a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here.”

5. “Misery acquaints a WSU football fan with strange bedfellows.”

6. “All the world’s a porta-potty and all the men and women merely Bloomsday entrants.”

7. “O Dakota, Dakota! Wherefore art thou Dakota?”

8. “It was a truck, take it for all in all, I shall not look upon its like again.”

9. “If you T-bone us, do we not bleed?”

10. “Et tu, Congresswoman McMorris Rodgers?”

11. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some watch YouTube videos.”

12. “Neither a borrower nor a Hoopfest court monitor be.”

13. “Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of six-packs.”

14. “What a piece of work is that blogger.”

15. “If music be the value meal of love, rock on.”

16. “That which we call a lilac by any other name would smell as funky.”

17. “You beastly knave, know you no right-of-way?”

18. “To return the Census form or not to return the Census form.”

19. “The fool doth think he is getting a great deal with that warranty.”

20. “A pickup, a pickup, my kingdom for a pickup.”

21. “Alas, poor marmot. I knew him.”

Today’s Slice question: How do most handle it these days when kids accidentally break a neighbor’s window?