Dear Annie: Is it unusual for a 25-year-old to not know her sexual orientation?
In her senior year in high school, our daughter told us she thought she was gay. She then had a relationship with another girl that didn’t turn out well. When she was a college sophomore, she had a long-term relationship with a guy who treated her beautifully. It was the happiest we had ever seen her. However, that relationship broke up, too, because he wasn’t the right guy for her. (We agreed.)
Since then, she has dated men who have treated her poorly and women with whom things haven’t “clicked.” She told me she is not opposed to dating men as long as they are decent guys.
We will accept her for whoever she is. But tell me, Annie, isn’t this kind of confusion unusual at this stage of the game? – Confused Parent
Dear Confused: Not necessarily. There is often a lot of experimentation at this age, and it is also possible your daughter is simply bisexual and attracted equally to both sexes. Her bigger problem seems to be choosing inappropriate partners, which may contribute to her vacillation about whether she’s better off with men or women.
We are glad you will accept her regardless, so please allow her to sort through this on her own, and help by encouraging her to find partners who will respect her.