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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Annie’s Mailbox: Take risk now; avoid regrets later

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am 18 and have been in a relationship with “Justin” since I was 15. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Justin would do anything for me. We love each other’s families and friends, too. Let’s just say I feel married.

But lately, I feel like we should have some space. Justin doesn’t agree. He says once we’re apart, he will leave for good. He doesn’t understand why we need this. He doesn’t believe in breaks. However, I think it would make us realize whether we really are meant for each other, instead of wondering when we’re much older and it’s too late.

I don’t want to lose Justin forever, but I can’t help the way I feel. Do I stay in this relationship and make the best of it? After all, we do love each other. Or do I take the chance of giving myself some space and risk losing him for good? – Terrified and Confused in Canada

Dear Canada: Take the risk. If you are feeling boxed in now, it will only get worse over time and destroy the relationship when the stakes are higher. You both deserve the chance to see what else is out there before making a commitment to each other, especially since you haven’t had the opportunity before. Justin is issuing ultimatums because he is scared. You’ve been together a long time, and it can be daunting to give up the familiar for the new. And yes, there is a possibility you won’t get back together. But if you don’t give yourself some space now, you are likely to regret it later.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.