Dear Annie: I am 52 years old, have been divorced for 15 years and am currently involved in a relationship with a wonderful man. “Chuck” lives 80 miles from me, but we have adjusted to the distance and enjoy weekends together. The problem is, he still lives at home with his parents. He’s 53, has never been married and is very spoiled.
We are madly in love with each other. He adores my children and grandchildren. And he supported me during some difficult times. We have looked at engagement rings, but that’s as far as it has gone. I don’t want to continue this if Chuck has no intention of marrying me. Why invest in a relationship that is going nowhere? Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he avoids the conversation.
I do not want to grow old alone. I am ready to make a commitment, but Chuck isn’t. Should I end this now before it’s too late? I don’t want to wait until his parents die. They are in excellent health, and it could be a long time. – Investing and Confused
Dear Investing: If you are looking for a commitment right now, a 53-year-old man who has never been married and still lives with his parents is probably not a good bet. This is especially true if he refuses to discuss the subject. Living independently is how people mature and develop, and Chuck has never had that opportunity. Unless he is acting as caregiver for his parents (and it doesn’t seem so), we think you should consider this a wonderful friendship and nothing more.